The Hangout » [malum] √

The One He'd Met Before

 [November 21st]

It was two weeks before the Christmas break that Michael saw Calum with another guy. It had been different in one very distinct way than any of the others had been. He'd been hanging out down the hall in a friend of friend's room, actively not paying attention to Calum's door. And that was the honest truth (for once).

The thing was avoiding Calum had been working sensationally, considering how long they'd both lived in the building they really hadn't seen each other that much. And now when Michael had decided to stop looking, Calum had stopped appearing which he should have realised was suspicious as hell. It was the longest time he'd gone without seeing him, and he hadn't even crossed his mind as he stepped out of the door and looked up and there they were, without even having to look.

Luke and Calum, shoulder to shoulder, walking toward Calum's door, Luke's eyes were watching Calum softly with a side glance and the other talking animatedly, a blush coating his already apple-like cheeks. He laughed loudly as he continued his story, and Michael's brain was still catching up with what his eyes were seeing. When it all finally clicked into place, his stomach dropped, at first like a stone in a still pond, but before the ripples settled and water stilled again, it began crashing like the waves of a stormy sea bouncing off the walls of his belly.

But then his brain clicked into gear and started to race without his consent. Trying to process every possible series of events that had led to this moment in front of him and then came the doubt, the underlying questions about the things he thought he knew about both of the boys just feet from him.

Luke had said he wanted a serious relationship when they'd 'broken up' and maybe, maybe Michael started to think, maybe that had been said entirely for Michael's benefit. Maybe Calum and Luke were together, and Calum was cheating on him, fuck, maybe Luke had had 'cheated' on Michael with Calum. Had Luke decided that Michael wasn't good enough for him? Had he decided he needed someone better to satisfy him? No. Michael already knew Luke was too good for him, but why did he care so much then? They were friends, nothing more anymore; they were on good terms; this was fine. But, so, so wasn't.

Luke was gorgeous, inside and out, and it had taken the fucking mess that had been their 'relationship' for him to become that person, but he was so amazing, so close to perfect. He was the epitome of growth, and understanding and, and Michael well, Michael was still just a bunch of pieces on the floor, he was so much less.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fuck!

They looked great together, and Luke was so good, and he deserved everything. Calum was laughing and smiling and seemed so happy, his eyes crinkling at the corners when Luke spoke and looking at him like he positively shone, they seemed effortless together. Michael was so much work; he couldn't do this, give this, right now, not the way Luke could.

He was so wrapped up in his head trying to fit pieces that were not made to go together into a shape that they just weren't that he almost didn't realise that Calum and Luke had spotted him. He had elegantly frozen in place in the doorway staring at the others, he couldn't tell what the look on his face must have portrayed, but he was sure it looked broken. Calum gave him a friendly wave and smaller version of that smile he'd given him all those weeks ago. Luke gave him a lazy wave from his hip and a knowing look. Michael felt frozen right down to his heart as if every muscle of him was incapable of functioning, no lungs breathing, no heart beating, not even a blink of an eye but somehow he managed a tight smile that he was sure looked as uncomfortable as it felt. Then finally he blinked for far too long, before moving awkwardly past them to get to his own room.