Inside The Broken

Hands

....you try to reach out your hand when am down to lift me up to make me smile when am crying, in pain wanting death you ask me if I was there holding my hand out would you take it I don't care if you don't take it..... I don't want to be lifted up at all I want to sink into the ground  inot hell itself so I can be happy I just want to die and drown my tears  are big and long but quite I hide them from you so I don't need your hand but I dont know what's right or wrong wanting your hand or not I just want to be left alone in this world let me be but i can't be alone its my big fear I want to die so much that I have a knife to my heart while talking to  you saying am fine when m not really I just want to break I want to break I want this I dont want your hand no matter times you put it out I won't take it god let me be alone.... but yet am scared to be alone am crazy wanting to hurt others to feel joy I should be dead not here  talking to you, you tld me this dream you had hat we had a fa imily it sounds cute and hapy but.... idk if I want that dream to come true