Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Part 8

“It will be over soon”, said Myrella, looking apprehensively at her cousin Catalina, who was sitting lazily on the armchair. On her right arm, there was a big needle from where the liquid medicament of the chemotherapy slowly entered her vein.

Catalina managed to give her cousin a faint smile; she was one of the few people who knew about her condition, and had moved to her house to assist her cousin. She sat patiently by Catalina’s side, her big dark eyes full of compassion.

“Do not look at me like this, Mylla”, Catalina asked, frowning slightly. “I told you. No pity.”

Her cousin shook her head slightly. “Does it hurt?” she asked.

“Not at much as the first time.” Catalina replied. “But at every session I have been feeling my hands and feet getting warmer, it’s a bit uncomfortable…”

Myrella examined Catalina’s hands. “The doctor said it could happen. Will you ask for coolers next time?”

“I might do so.”

Catalina sighed, closing her eyes and resting her head on armchair.

“I feel tired.”

“Cat… I was wondering…”

“Yes?”

“I think you should tell Ferdinand.”

Catalina turned her face from Myrella. “No.”

“Cat…”

“No.”

“It’s been two months. And he is getting married next month.”

“I know.”

“If only he knew… Maybe…”

“No, Myrella.”

“He has the right to know!”

Catalina turned angrily to her cousin. “Right you say? What right does he have? He abandoned me before I could tell him anything. He has no right to know anything. He made it clear that he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“He has the right to know because he thought you had changed your behavior out of sudden and for no reason.” Myrella insisted. “”If only he knew it’s not that…”

“We had been dating for almost two years. If he didn’t know me enough to know I wouldn’t change my behavior out of sudden for no reason, then he never really knew me at all.”

“Catalina…”

“How do you know of his wedding?”

“it’s on the newspapers.”

She sighed. “Of course. The flamboyant woman wants to rub it in my face.”

“Talk to him. Call him, send him a message… Just explain, Catalina…”

“I won’t.” she said, stubbornly. “He will only know if I die. Then he will feel the remorse.”

“You are being too harsh.”

“Look what he has done to me!” Catalina’s eyes were watering.

“And look at you, planning revenge!” Myrella replied. “I know you have mood changes due all this crappy meds, but I know your personality hasn’t changed. You have always been the kindest of the family. Don't let your condition change your heart too.”

Catalina did not reply. With her free hand she passed her fingers through her hair. Then she showed Myrella a big tuft of dark brown hair.

“I’m getting bald.”

Myrella looked at her with a sad expression. “You knew this would happen.”

“I know.” Catalina sighed. “I think it is time.”

~*~

Her beautiful hair was falling down her right shoulder, straight, dark, long. She looked at herself in the mirror, admiring her face one last time. The tears were rolling down her cheeks, stubbornly.

“It’s not everything”, she thought.

Shaking, she reached the scissors on the sink before her, not looking away from the mirror. With her left hand she took a part of her hair, and cut it; she took another part, and another, and another, cropping it very short.

Her eyes were very swollen now, and she couldn’t see properly; the tears were blurring her view. Slowly, she reached the electric shaver, plugged it and turned it on. She dried her tears with the back of her hand so she could see her reflection perfectly. “I will not take my eyes off me.”

The tufts of hair fell down the bathroom floor; within minutes, Catalina was struggling against the tears, sadly touching her bare head.