Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Epilogue

Catalina was alone at the beach, sitting on the sand carelessly; the sunset was beautifully reflecting on the sea, creating multiple colors on the wavy waters. It was cold, and the girl had put on her red cassimere coat and a matching wool hood.

After a year of chemotherapy, a year of cancer fight, she had learned more about life than she could possibly imagine; the physical pain, she learned to embrace it as a minor problem and never complain. Every morning she would wake up and feel alive, she would close her eyes in a grateful prayer. Every night before going to sleep, she planned the next day as if there was no risk to never live it. She had met wonderful fighters who taught her to be patient and resigned, many of them she had also lost during the war against that terrible disease. But Catalina had learned that it wasn’t about winning the war: it was about fighting it.

She had also learned to accept her physical appearance. One day when she was asleep, Sophia had entered her room and painted her bald head with flowers and hearts. When Catalina woke up, the girl was there, smiling, saying she looked much prettier now that there was some colour and love on her. That was when Catalina realized how much her sister missed her, the old Catalina, the one who smiled all the time and loved without limits. That day was one of the best days of her life, when she locked herself in her room with Sophia and they spend the whole night drawing, playing, singing and taking pictures together. Catalina decided to never again stop smiling.

Treatment was hard and painful; there were days when Catalina found it hard to leave the bed, eat or walk. But thankfully her staying times in hospitals were not frequent and she could live almost normally. She knew her parents were suffering, but for her sake, they tried to hide it and treat her as normal as they could. Myrella was also a comfort, being her confident and best friend. Catalina managed to be discreet about her condition, and she was surprised to see how only a few people had realized there was something wrong with her. She could count on her fingers the number of friends that had missed her and went after her within the year; but instead of saddening her, this fact made her smile, thinking that at least she knew they were true.

Also, she had found a great comfort in writing; she started to create small poems that evolved to short stories, and soon she was writing novels, filling pages with emotion and dreams. It was her favorite escape.

Ferdinand had gotten married; one day before his wedding day, he called Catalina, begging her forgiveness and saying he still loved her. Both Ferdinand and Catalina cried, and they allowed themselves a moment to lament their sad fate. He told her he wish he could get rid of the wedding but it was too late; she did not reply he could if he wanted to.

He kept calling her afterwards; every time he called, he sounded even unhappier. Catalina knew he regretted his actions and his choice. But she was not sure if she was ready to forgive and trust again. Ferdinand was getting divorced, willing to try to conquer Catalina back, or so he said. She decided to let things happen and see what would happen next, without giving him any answer or promise.

Slowly, she put on her earphones and put her iPod on shuffle. She smiled when she listened to the song it started playing. “The Blower’s Daughter”. One of the first songs Ferdinand had declared as “theirs”.

“And so it is, just like you said it would be.”

It couldn’t have been more different from what she thought it would be; Catalina had dreamed of a beautiful future with Ferdinand, where they’d marry and have children, achieve their plans and be happy. She never planned cancer, betrayal or grief.

“Life goes easy on me, most of the time.”

Certainly not, she thought. Life used to go easy on her, but she learned that nothing last forever. And that easy things are often an illusion.

“And so it is, the shorter story.”

Her story had become quite unusual; she used to have so many plans… Graduate, travel to Rome, start a degree, learn how to play the guitar… It had all been interrupted.

“No love, no glory, no hero in the sky…”

The love she thought it would never fail her had disappointed her when she needed most; but she found other shapes of love. She found love in a good friendship, in a good read or a good song. Maybe it didn’t look glorious, but her everyday battle was hectic. Catalina had learned there the only hero for her was her own self.

From a distance, she saw a man walking to her direction. “Probably just a wanderer like me”, she thought as she hummed the song to herself, without paying much attention.

“I can’t take my eyes off you…”

Catalina looked down, with tears in her eyes; she closed her eyes and saw the smiling face of Ferdinand that night on the roof, the happiest night of her life. “I can’t take my eyes off you…”

It seemed like so long ago, yet, she could still hear it clearly. She hummed the song a bit louder.

“I can’t take my eyes off you… I can’t take my eyes off you… I can’t take my eyes off you…”

A hand touched her shoulder and she abruptly looked up, frightened; for her surprise, it was Ferdinand, his dark eyes shining just like the old days, and a smile on his face.

“I can’t take my mind off you…”