Opposites Attract (COMPLETED)

Chapter 10: Rush To Finish A Race Called Life

zoe
chapter 10: rush to finish a race called life
"friend please don't take your life away from me"

The words hung in the air, seeming to be literally dripping out of existence. A few muffled cries here and there came from behind my door--I imagined Riley crying against Nick's shirt. How blessed he was. I sighed and wiggled deeper into my blanket burrito, now fully covering my head and my breath hitching as I sniffled.

"Should-should we wait for her-"

"No. I wanna go home."

Footsteps, to my relief, is what I heard as they faded down the hallway. I sighed in relief, finally I was freed by the baggage of them being up against my room door, hearing my every move.

I don't wanna apologize to Riley but still I do. What she did was forgivable but unforgivable, it depends. But today, it is unforgivable. And I guess she won't ever be forgiven, because I'm in a rush to finish a race-a race called life.

You see, I've been crushing on Riley ever since I knew what a crush was, which was at age 8. I thought it was just a mega friendship but when I realized I wanted a relationship with her because I was crushing, my heart might've as well been crushed. I knew she would never love me, she's straight as a pole. But the feelings didn't go away, they just remained, eating me up from the inside out until I broke and confessed. It was stupid. I had enough of these feelings, I've held them in my pocket since I was 8, so it was time to let them go. But not by moving on, I knew I was to deep in the rabbit hole. The easiest way was to take my life.

I have to wait until midnight, everyone's asleep, no one will hear me getting up and ending it all. And then, for once, I'll be free. Of everything. Of my family, of my friends, of all my feelings, of school, of my sexuality. For the first time, I would be peaceful, and happy. Peacefully happy. Sounds unfamiliar. I've been wondering a lot about stuff. My last wonders-last thoughts. But I guess it won't be my last thoughts, isn't there heaven and hell and I could still live, think? But technically, my first thoughts as a still alive person. I've been thinking, how will this impact people? People probably won't miss me, which is fine by me. I also wonder, will I be reincarnated? It would be awesome to be turned into a animal, specifically a dog. With my luck, I'll be turned into a worm. I wonder what I could do until midnight. I'm not in the mood for anything, just death.

* * *
Crickets. Finally, what I wanna hear. I shift my body and sit up so I can look out the window. It looks pretty dark--maybe it's midnight? I grab my phone from my nightstand and turn it on, checking the time. Midnight. Finally. I throw my legs over the edge of my mattress, pausing although. I take in the silence--how calming it is. I would like to die a peaceful, calm death. I let my feet touch the cold ground, and I finally stand up in hours. I wobble back and fourth for a bit but I make my way to the bathroom, closing the door behind me, I flick on the lights and open the medicine cabinet, grabbing any random pill bottle I see. I bring the bottle up to my eyes and read the label.

"Arthritis Supplements... Take 2 daily." I smirked at that. I opened the bottle and pour out nearly 10 on my palm.

"Not enough probably..." I said, pouring out a good more ten pills onto my palm. I gulped and processed what I was doing. But I wanted to do it. I would never be able to be happy, knowing I was a lesbian, and my best friend I had a crush on hated me.

"Ok.. Just do it." I told myself, my hand shaking. "One, two three." Down the hatch. I turned on the sink and began shoveling handfuls of water into my mouth to just get this over with, and once the pills were finally down I sighed and leaned against the wall, placing a hand on my forehead. My temperature probably rocketed up a hundred degrees as I felt every inch of my body heat up. I grabbed my stomach as it began to burn. I doubled over in the pain and fell to the ground, shaking and foaming at the mouth. I felt paralyzed and my vision and hearing turned into static.

* * *
"Zoe please wake up I'm so sor-" A familiar voice said sadly, sounding muffled. My eyes blinked open and I looked over to my right, seeing Riley and Nick. I looked down to see Riley holding my hand and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest.

"Why... Did I get a second chance?" I mumbled forcefully. Riley turned to Nick and burst out crying, Nick pulling her in for a hug. My face scrunched up-- I was really really jealous. I didn't care that I had just woken up in a hospital in a attempt to kill myself, I was just jealous. I hated myself. I brought this upon myself. So I tried to end it. But got a fucking second chance. Finally, Riley turned to me, her face soaked in tears, and she said "Because you deserved one."

I awkwardly looked down at myself, to see my pajamas had been replaced with a hospital gown. On my arm there had to be about two.... Things, I didn't really know what they were at all, but connected to one was possibly an IV flushing my blood, and the other connected to food. I looked back at Riley.

"Where's my mom?"

"Downstairs, only two people could be here at a time." Riley responded, sniffling and wiping her face. "Zoe I'm so sorry-"

"No, I'm sorry, Riley, I shouldn't- I shouldn't have done that."

Footsteps came from around the corner and after a while appeared my mom, looking exhausted and worn out.

"Oh," Riley said, plastering on a fake smile. "Mrs. Wesley, you can talk to Zoe."

She slightly nodded and off Riley and Nick went, leaving me only with my mom and leaving me feeling much more free. But my mom locked eyes with me and I could see the disappointment in her eyes. I couldn't blame her. Her daughters a disgusting dyke.

"Zo-"

"I know. You're disappointed." I huffed.

She sighed, as if she wasn't agreeing or disagreeing. I could tell she didn't want to hurt my feelings.

"Honey, I'm not. I-I love you, but your father..." Her voice trailed off, and she looked down at the floor.

I hadn't thought of my father. He absolutely hated homosexuals. I remember as a young girl we would walk down the street and I saw two males holding hands, he had the audacity to scream disgusting slurs at them even with me around. As I got older and it became more common to see gay couples on popular platforms, like on the TV, whenever a show featured this "horror", as he called it, he would lecture me into telling me whats wrong and whats right. But I always knew he was wrong and being homosexual was ok.

"I-I'm not scared of him." I said, a wave of bravery washing over me. Unexpectedly, my mom didn't smile, just stared at me blank faced.

"I don't wanna lose you..." My mom said, regaining eye contact and squeezing my hand lovingly. I looked at her confused, how was she gonna lose me?

"Your father would kick you out, I know he would." My mom said, gripping my hand so tight that her knuckles were turning white. I looked back up and her beautiful blue eyes were now welling up with tears.

"Mom..." I said, shifting to sit upright with a bit of pain. "I'll never leave you."

Oh my gosh, I AM BACK FROM THE DEAD! Seriously though, I just ignored wattpad for a good two weeks because homework came pouring out like a damn waterfall.

But I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was just whipped up quickly so I can push through this slight writers block, of course since I've been off a few days. I need to like reset and get used to wattpad again because of my little vacation.

Anyways, that's it, have a ZESTY day.