I have an Angel

Angel of Mine

A clear night sky had swept over the earth. Instead of the sun, a moon, and instead of clouds, stars. Every home out there in the city of Seoul, a family must be sleeping. How peaceful life would be for them. Children would wake up to a nice breakfast prepared by mom and head to school, fathers would sit at the table with a cup of coffee, mother busy at the stove. That was really ideal.

The other side of the city where the not so well-off lived must have homes filled with the scent of a family. Even though poor, they'd struggle together. Sons wouldn't abandon mothers, daughters wouldn't abandon their siblings. At least they had family.

Victoria stared at the moon fazed by its brightness. In her world, there was no moon, no such brightness. A dark blanket had enveloped her once bright world.

12 months ago she'd fallen so hard and so fast. It had never happened before, but she became crazy. That person who filled every corner of her mind. The person she befriended, kissed, slept with. Before being perfectly aware, he'd become a part of her.

12 months ago that man left. No, he didn't leave her for another woman. He didn't leave her because people pried them apart. He hadn't left because of an argument. He left because he had no choice.

"Become happier."

His words trailed on in her mind endlessly those 12 months. Victoria, at first, had tried really hard, but as months went by her energy started fading. Now, she was just really tired and exhausted.

On nights when she couldn't sleep, she'd play some music to lullaby her to sleep. However that tactic didn't last long either. Countless nights Victoria woke up, walked around her apartment, and just stared out the window. At least she'd do that before her baby started stirring.

A beautiful baby girl had been bestowed to her by Eunhyuk. Yes, it was theirs together. The most beautiful existence that had resulted from their short time together, their love.

Victoria had given birth alone and cried after. She saw husbands accompanying wives through labor, husbands with the baby gently caressed within their strong arms and wives who smiled upon the sight. Victoria could only lay next to hers, alone.

At this moment, upon this time of night surrounded by silence Victoria wasn't crying. No, she wasn't. She'd like to think Eunhyuk didn't want her crying, so she wouldn't cry.

Her heart was empty, whether it was a momentary thing or whether it decided to stay she couldn't say anymore. It had been an empty cavern within her for a long time. It would hurt when she didn't want it to and it would cry when she had had enough. The pain would throb endlessly and she would become helpless to the predator of the night.

The whining of Song Eun Na entered her ears and she turned around to fetch the baby from her crib.

"Shh...." Victoria cooed gently embracing the beautiful life in her arms.

Moving back and forth, walking around her apartment she waited for the baby girl to fall back to sleep. She was so obedient, Victoria wondered if she would have a hard time at all when she started growing up.

Silence again penetrated the sad apartment and Victoria turned to look at the moon. Perhaps a crying baby would have been better than the silence wrapping its arms around her like a vulture. Once again, she became fazed by the moon.

She rose early the next morning, tended to her baby, and left her with the grandma next door. There were things Victoria needed to take care of. And one of them just so happened to want to see her that day.

After Eunhyuk's death, Victoria had met that man again. She didn't think she'd see him, not after the night she left without a word. She hadn't thought of him once, nor had his existence mattered.