FOR ALL THE GIRLS !

00. entry

[ YOU THINK ATTENTION IS LOVE
AND THAT'S WHY YOU SUFFER
SO DEEPLY !
— the better man project ]

♡

Dear diary,

I've never kept a diary before. Okay, maybe I have, when I was in seventh grade, writing in my old purple book in broken Japanese because I wanted to be cool and because I didn't want anybody to read whatever I wrote.

I'm writing this one in English.

I'm at that point where I don't have friends to talk to, or the friends that I have are currently not that close for me to disclose this information about.

I keep telling my sister that I don't have friends and she rolls her eyes, saying "you have more friends than me. Who's Jane? She's your friend isn't she?"

She doesn't get it. Yeah I have friends. But I don't have friends that I can confess my whole life or my hardships to. I can't tell them to my sister either because I'm definitely sure she'll laugh at me or tell me not to worry about it or say that's stupid. That's the kind of person she is.

So I'm writing it down all here. I'm gonna write down the contents of my life, what went wrong, what went right and what is still undecided.

I'll write, what I want to be, what I wish to be and what I hope I can achieve.

By the end of it, I hope that my life will shine brightly and I hope that god sees just how hard I've worked and give me what I hopefully deserve.

Or maybe not. But for now, I really really hope so.

And maybe one day, I'll give this book to some random person I saw on the street. If they looked kind enough or if they looked negative I'd give this book to them, if only my life goes as to what I deserve.

And then maybe they'll understand the life of Lana Gardiner.