Blame Myself

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can't help but blame myself,
even if the scars were done by another,
pushing myself down as i utter 'it's my fault',
crying till it is past twelve,
saying that i am always such a bother,
locking my mind in such a vault.

i always feel like i make situations worse,
even if the hurt was thrown by them,
punching myself like i am the cause,
sometimes i feel like this is a curse,
disturbing like a throat filled phlegm,
wishing i could just put my mind at pause.

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