It's finally Friday and I can't wait to get out of last period. Mrs.Long has been going on and on over who knows what. I just want to get out of here and go home and sleep forever.
"Tempy" Rich whispers snapping me out of my daydreams
"Dammit Rich I hate when you call me that" I whisper yell back.
"I just wanted to know if u wanna come over later sweet cheeks."
"Noooo thank u " I roll my eyes
"your loss" Rich turns back around
Then finally the bell rings. I sprint out of class down the hall out the doors to the bike rack. I pull my bike out of its slot and speed home. As I get closer I see that familiar beat up car. My stomach drops. I want to throw up. I have to go inside or I'll be in even more trouble than what my dad will blame me for when I get in. I lay my bike down in the grass nicely and slowly trudge inside. When I get through the door I see my drunk dad sitting in his recliner. Maybe if I slowly walk upstairs and don't make eye contact he won't notice me. He sits tv blaring with the exact same expression on his face as always. First step and he hasn't noticed yet. Third nothing. Forth. Fifth. Sixth. Then finally the last step. I just have to get past this one singular step to be okay for the time being. As soon as I step down on the seventh stair it creaks. Goddamit.
"Temprence" I hear my dad mumble.
"Yes daddy?" I yell nicely back
"Come here" he says sternly. I do as I'm told and stand in front of his chair. I look at his feet so I don't have to face him. I'm petrified. Scared to breath.
"Where have you been?"
"School daddy I came home as soon as I could"
"Don't lie to me" he raises his voice
"I swear I'm not" my voice cracking trying not to cry. "Stop crying pussy" I hold my breath tighter. "I said stop crying!" He screams punching me in the gut. I let out the gasp of the air I was holding in as I fold over grabbing my stomach. This time I really can't breathe. My dad grabs a cigarette from the ash tray and holds it to my shoulder. I wince in pain. And take a few steps back. "Go to your room and don't come out. I don't want to see your ugly face." He mumbles through his teeth pushing me backward with his right hand while putting the cigarette in his mouth with the left. I pull myself upstairs and into my room. I'm safe. I fall to the floor and sob. I only have so many tears. I pull myself up off the floor and onto my bed. I lay on my back. My dry itchy bloodshot eyes stare at the ceiling. I have zero motivation to do anything else. Laying here in my thoughts have made me think my dads words are true. I'm worthless. I have no more feelings. I want to be angry but I just feel lost. He's done this for as long as I can remember. I should be used to this by now. I could sneak out and head to Richies. But like I said I have no motivation even if it is to save me from getting beat later. I just can't get up. There is no part of me that can get up even to save my own life. It feels as if there is a flood. And it's slowly making its way up to my room. I have plenty of time to get somewhere safe. But I'm stuck. I just lay here until the water slowly drowns me. Or thousands of weights are sitting on my chest so I can move. I want to, but I can't. I let a tear slip out of my eye. I close my eyes tight and imagine Richie singing that song again. His imaginary voice finally puts me to sleep.
