Completed on 24/09/2018
Tell me who hurt you?" It was a command. I could have been afraid and probably told the whole of my traumatic childhood but I shook my head. There was no way I was telling him my darkest secrets.
"I will find out..I always...
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Sophie
*Unedited*
The wedding, despite my misgiving came off perfectly beside the rose garden with a few people present for the occasion. I didn't know some of them, but I was glad the most important people in my life were in attendance. I wore a white off shoulder trailing gown, embroidered with lace around the shoulders; a dress that had been designed specifically for me. White laced high heels even though it probably wasn't advisable to do so considering my pregnancy, but there was no way in hell I was going to wear flats on my wedding day.
There was a lot of advantages to having money, but having a famous designer flown in to the house to take my measurements, design the dress I imagined getting married in wasn't something ordinary people dream about.
It was a luxury, a dream that you get at a passing glance while flipping through the pages of a fashion magazine and I was prove that sometimes, just sometimes, that one second passing glance dream do come true, and boy, did I love it.
The stitching of something blue was a little fabric of the maxi dress I wore the first time Raphael made love to me. My nana's small diamond bracelet which had been a gift from my grandfather adorned my hand was my something old.
I could see my Raphael at the end of the aisle through the veil standing with Romano, Bruno and father José whose lovely smiled showed his approval and the love he felt for me too as much as he loved them. Gabs stood directly opposite the guys looking beautiful in a light purple gown.
My hand, tucked into nana's arm felt clammy. I had convinced her to give me away because no one else in the whole world had more right to walk with me than she did. I knew she was proud of me, she said that more often than I could count, her ability to remain nonjudgmental even when I fell pregnant and unmarried was one of the many reasons I loved her.
We walked down the aisle together,her beautiful dress touching mine, I knew she was crying because she kept blowing her nose, her slow pace in accordance to mine.
"Look at those beautiful men..." nana breathed "If only I was thirty years younger" I smiled, shedding the flutters that seemed to have taken residence in my stomach. I touched her hand with my other one, letting her know I appreciated her courage, her strength and the love that was always unconditional. She must have known my thoughts because she squeezed my hand in return.
Before I could take my place opposite Raphael, nana leaned over me whispering emotionally to my ear "Be happy" and I almost shed another bout of tears to the perfection of those words"
I handed my flowers to Gabs, nervously making the motion of tucking hair behind my ear even though not a strand of it was out of place. Raphael smiled at me, that beautiful magical smile that only belonged to and my heart throbbed. I knew that he would forever take my breath away.
"Dearly beloved—"Father Jose began, eloquently and loud for everyone to hear "we are gathered here in sight of God to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony—"I didn't hear much of what he said after that, my eyes and my whole being was centered at the man who was now holding my hand until I heard him mention my name. "Sofia, you said you've written your own vows?"
I blushed as I became the center of attention while Raphael just stared at me with a strange look. I had not told him about having our own vows because I knew he wasn't the kind of man to show much emotions and I didn't want to force him or put him in a position where he would be uncomfortable. "Yes I have" I said smiling even though I could feel tears shimmering in my eyes.
"Raphael..." I began, "it has been said that love makes the world go round, it alleviates the pain and makes the weight of the world less heavy. I believe that because you've made my life better, I no longer feels the weight of the world weighing me down, or life overwhelming turbulences. This doesn't mean that life will be perfect and smooth sailing, it just means that with you beside me, it will be imperfectly perfect. I love you and I want you to know nothing you do for me however small goes unnoticed. I promise to love you until the end of time"
No one spoke for a while, even father José was speechless. I could feel tears running down my cheeks, the face of the man I loved becoming blurry. He leaned over, his hands wiping off the tears, I needed a handkerchief or I was about to embarrass myself. Thank God for maid of honors, they always come prepared for such eventualities.
Gabs handed me the handkerchief and everyone laughed at how inelegantly I sneezed but Raphael just smiled down at me.
"Caro..." The priest said, prompting me to shake my head vigorously, ready to defend him should anyone make him feel uncomfortable for not having his own vows. I was okay with it, I did not expect him to have written them anyone.
"It's okay" I whispered to him;
"Cara, I'm not as articulate as you are when it comes to emotions, I think the first time I told you I loved you was when you left me the second time and I was afraid you might stay away." He smiled and I smiled back while the others laughed. "In case you're wondering, I meant it then and I mean it now. I love you, I don't think you or anybody understands just how much I love you. When I look into your eyes, I see a future; our future. You alone, carry my dreams."
And then I felt the tears again.
By the time we exchanged our rings, I was sure my eyes were red. But I didn't care, Raphael was now my husband and I was his wife until death do us apart.
