Junie's Reviews and Promo Book (Closed)

Review: Primrose and the Interloper

Primrose and the Interloper by Diamond435 

Genre: Fanfiction.

Chapters Reviewed: 4 Chapters.

Updated: Daily.

Primrose and the Interloper is just getting started, but I can already tell this book has potential of being a great story. From the start, the author gives a clear intro as to who the main character's friends are. They are all Pokémon, including the main character as they live with their trainer, who happens to get a new Pokémon: a shiny Flareon.

Usually, when shiny Pokémon are introduced, the said Pokémon are usually "good" Pokémon. I like that the author made the shiny Flareon the antagonist of this story. It's something that isn't seen a lot in pokefic. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen a shiny Flareon in a fanfic. From what I've read, it's usually a shiny Sylveon and/or a shiny Eevee. Using a Pokémon that isn't used often is a wonderful idea!

There's just a little bit of the book in which I'm confused about when reading. While Primrose is the main character, she never really introduces herself. As the reader, I'd assume that she's a Flareon, like the one on the cover, but seeing that there's a shiny Flareon, I'm not exactly sure because not once in the story does it say something along the lines of "My name is Primrose, and I'm a Flareon," somewhat like she did with her friends, giving a brief description as to who they are. True, you probably don't want to word it that way either, but there needs to be some way (in writing) that tells the reader who Primrose is.

Don't worry, this is an easy fix, considering this book is still in it's early stages. I feel like the problem comes from lack of detail, or at least what I feel like there should be more of it. A helpful tip is to write everything you can see and ask some of the following questions when writing: What is my character seeing, smelling, feeling, and hearing? Who is my main character, and tell a little bit about her in this part and a bit as to what she knows. This way, the reader isn't left guessing and filling the the missing pieces because you want the reader to know what's going on. While it's implied that this is what it is due to the cover, it's best not to leave the reader assume anything. Almost always, you can never have too much detail.

This should be an easy fix because the author is already on her way of using descriptions in her story. For example, the following is a scene of Primrose being angry and pouncing; however the author doesn't just state that Primrose was mad, so she pounced. Instead, she said this...

"Furious, I glowered at Sunset, lowered my head, and front legs, raised my back legs, and rump, wished my tail, and pounced" (Chapter 2 of PatI).

There are a bit more commas than needed in this description, along with a spelling error (whisk, not wish) but all that aside, the author does make it a point to give the reader a nice description, which I enjoy. This particular detail is one that I really loved reading, proving that this story has great potential.

In all, this story is off to a great start. While it's four chapters long, there is a sense of the plot already forming. As the reader, you know what really makes Primrose tick right away, and you feel for her, rather than the shiny Flareon (which, I still find awesome that you've incorporated that Pokémon in your Pokefic).

So readers, if you're looking for a quick story to read about a cute Pokémon tale, then look no further. This book is off to a great start with a wonderful selection of Pokémon.

Especially if you like Flareon (and shiny ones).

In case anyone is wondering a bit more as to what Primrose and the Interloper is like, I have had the pleasure of interview the author in an interview.

JunieWeather: I've noticed that you use a shiny Flareon as the antagonist. What made you want to use this Pokémon in such a way?

Diamond435: The idea of using a shiny Pokémon was one of the ideas that stuck in my mind, so I went with it.

JW: It's a very interesting idea too. Another interesting thing I've noticed you've done in your story is that it's through a Pokémon's point of view rather than the trainer's. What made you want to take this route in your story?

Diamond: All the stories I have read are through the trainer's point of view, and it got me thinking, "How would a Pokémon feel if their trainer abandoned them? Would they be able to trust another human afterwards?"

JW: That's an interesting concept. Who is your favorite Pokémon to write in this story?

Diamond: Primrose of course!

JW: Primrose is a very neat character.  Is there anything you'd like to share about your style of writing?

Diamond: My style of writing is short, straight forward, and easy to read. Despite the short length of the chapters I publish, a lot of thought goes into them.

JW: Thank you again for allowing me to interview. This story is very cute, so if you're looking for a quick read about Pokémon told through the Pokémon's point of view, this would be a wonderful book to check out.

UPDATE: This book has now been taken off of Wattpad. Sorry for the inconvenience.