start over // lrh

five

"You want to know why she dumped me?", Luke spoke out if the blue.

His sentence caused me to choke on my smoothie, why was he like this?

We had been sitting in the the living rooms for half an hour, watching some Australian sitcom I had no idea about.

He had knocked on my door earlier today when I was trying to do my dualingo test, and asked me to accompany him watching T.V. He also screamed in my face when he saw me wearing an avocado face mask, which wasn't really polite. He wanted to make up for storming out of the kitchen yesterday when I was in mid-sentence of telling him how this girl and me ended up wearing the same dress for prom. He was distressed ever since we came back from the doctor.

Maybe he was just upset over the fact that the doctor revealed his virginity, it really wasn't fair on his "bad boy" and "sleeping with girls" kind of reputation.

"No, I don't want to know about it", I replied, a little too quickly. I did absolutely not wish for more awkward time with Luke. Especially, when he was looking this good wearing a pink T-Shirt and stripped trousers, not to mention his hair were grease free.

"She dumped me because she thought I was a wimp, a pathetic loser", Luke began to say as If I never spoke and told him not to tell me about his ex, he was staring at the ceiling and fumbling with his hands.

"She fought with me every time we were alone because we won't have sex, it was like that's what she was really with me for. Then one night. I caught her making out with some random guy at a friend's party, I can't explain how sad-mad I was. When I faced her about it, she said that it was my fault. Because I was acting like a pathetic loser. She said that I was a sucky boyfriend who took her to stupid The 1975 and All Time Low concerts, and wrote her notes daily, that she was done with me", he explained, without wasting a breath, his voice higher than usual.

"Wow, that's horrible", I forced myself to utter, and shaking all the inappropriate thoughts away. Was the guy she made out with hot? I didn't how I was supposed respond; if I should pat his shoulder and tell him everything's going to be okay or cuss at his ex to make him feel better. And that's when I had an awesome idea. I scooted in my place so I was a little closer to him.

"HEy!", I squealed, causing Luke to jump in his place. I started crawling towards him like a baby, it wasn't seductive at all.

"I have an idea", I said grinning, when I reached him and I was sitting sideways to him, cross-legged. The look on his face bluntly showed that he had zero interest in my idea or whatsoever.

"She broke your heart and made you feel horrible, didn't she?", I said, still smiling. It was becoming harder and harder for me to not shamelessly praise my brilliant idea.

"Yeah but-", I caught him in mid-sentence, I loved interrupting people.

"Do you have a photo of her?",

"Why-"

I jumped on top of him, awkwardly strangling him. A dumb attempt to reach for his pocket.

"Of course you have it", I Iooked for his wallet on his left and right.

"I don't think you have something good in mind", Luke sat up, I wasn't that short, but he still looked like an electric pole next to me.His face was contoured with stupefaction.

"Just give it to me", I said giving him the puppy eyes, "trust me, okay"

He contemplated for a while -weighing the pros and cons- then took the photo out of his wallet, and handed it to me. What kind of sociopath keeps their wallet with them inside the house?

I took the photo from his hands, our fingers brushing slightly.

I traced my fingers over it, the woman in the photo was beautiful. She had blue eyes and blonde hair, falling loosely on her shoulders, her cheeks were flushed and she had a plastered smile that was preferably too big for her face, her teeth sparkly white. She was wearing a peach sundress sitting on grass with a sunset in the back. I presumed it was taken somewhere when she and Luke had gone out for a picnic or something.

I unconsciously let out a dog whistle then mentally face palmed myself for it. He wouldn't appreciate my fantasies.

"Hold this", I shoved the photo into his hands. He was utterly confused by my actions and honestly, I was too.

"Now just tell the person you see in this photo what you feel about them".

He tightened his grip on it and drew a sharp breath. "I loved you, you know. I felt like my whole world revolved around you. I created this fantasy where you were the perfect partner, loving, caring , supportive and compassionate. There were certain points where I questioned you, but then willingly decided to ignore them. Just for the sake of us. But then you cheated on me, and dumped me, when I tried to make things okay, you said you didn't want them that way. You made me feel feeble and insubstantial. You killed a part of me, and what you did was quiet a low thing, though you would never own upto it. And I hate you, I hate you for making me feel like that. And I want you to know that I am not a woeful, pathetic loser you wanted me to become because I have people who love me and care for me and my world doesn't revolve around you!", Luke has gradually started to grow louder and louder, and was yelling at the end

When he was finished, he stared in disbelief and amazement at the picture as if he couldn't believe what he had just done.

" Yes my boy, you did it!", I flailed my arms into the air, cheering. I was going nuts. "How do you feel?", I asked him, staring at him intently.

"I feel-", Luke paused to think for the right word, thn added abruptly, "-amazing!" He laughed in cynicism, as if he wasn't still convinced that he did what he did.

"Great, now burn it", I said, handing him a cigarette lighter. I always kept one in my back pocket. He looked at me as if I was joking.

"Trust me, you'll feel a lot better", I sighed, he really had trust issues.

He took it from my hand and started fire on its one end. A streak of red appeared, then grew larger.

The picture began to burn as the paper of the photo crumpled and blackened, ash fell on the carpet. I stomped on it twice, so we wouldn't burn down the place.

"Oh my god, it's getting to my hand. I'm going to burn to death!", Luke yelled hysterically as more than half of the photo had already been burnt, he started blowing on it, the attempt was useless. I wasn't worried about him, but I didn't want the couch on fire, that shit was expensive.

"Run for the bathroom!", I yelled back into his face, as if to make sure he had heard me correctly and we both launched ourselves on our feet and ran for the bathroom, barefoot.

Luke opened the door and threw the photo into the toilet, with a very girlish scream, and flushed it like it could still jump out and burn him.

Then he took a deep calming breath before smiling at him.

"Wow, I feel good", he uttered in astonishment and shook his head.

"Of course you do", I looked at him and grinned, because I made him feel better.

We stood there, stupidly smiling at each other for a minute. Then out of the blue, he did something I never expected him to, he engulfed me in his arms, I drew a sharp breath as his arms snaked around my back.

Luke Hemmings was fucking hugging me.

I froze in my spot, still overwhelmed from the surprise. 

After overcoming the shock after a few moments, I hooked my arms around his neck and buried my face into his chest. I could feel my heart hammering inside my ribs and the blush creeping onto my cheeks, he was very warm.

"Thank you", He mumbled into my shoulder.

***

a/n: unedited filthy chapter because it is sO hard to write squishy scenes ugh i hate myself.