Book of Lies

My Last Message

I live in a world where I know I don't belong.
A world where I could only laugh as loud as I whisper or else everything could go wrong.
I bury my thoughts and plaster a smile.
Whenever a door opens I'm always in denial.

I've longed to write this message and let my thoughts be known.
Dear mother, I want you to know how much your child has grown.
I no longer need to be pacified, my silent cry will never be heard,
Nor do I need to be punished, my blade ensures me the reward I've earned.

I embrace the darkness, my friends are the voices in my head.
I'm sorry you had to watch the misguided life I lead.
A life where the gun came into my hand,
Just pull the trigger and everything will end.

I refuse to live in a world where I can't be myself.
Where everything I long to do is stacked on the highest shelf.
Even though the sun shines bright, it must set.
Every candle you light must out and you'll have to move on to the next.

My fire grows dim, maybe tonight I'll go out.
Then I can whisper away from my guilt without having to shout.
I would finally be alone, enclosed in my eternal bed,
With my remembered existence engraved above my head.

So long dear mother and father, I write to you my final goodbye.
The next time you see me don't you cry.
Instead, wear a smile even if it's not from the heart.
Showing me that you'll be happy even if we're forever apart.