My Black Beauty

Chapter 36

I waited patiently in que for my test result as people showed all sorts of emotions when getting their results. Some people looked annoyed, others cried and some smiled. Let's hope that I am part of the ones smiling.

Lucy was handing out the exams as she gave people the cold smile no one really noticed. When it got to my turn I gave her my fakest smile as she returned it to me. She got my exam and her eyes widened when she saw my grade.

I passed.

I had to.

"Tim come here!" Lucy shouted as a tall skinny man runs to her aid. Lucy points at me. "Go stand behind her," everyone watches as Tim stands behind me with a confused expression. "Hold your hands up Tim," Tim holds out his arm and I turn to face Lucy. She hands me my exam.

"Now you can fall sweetie," I look at my results to see that I failed again. The only difference is that I got a lower percentage than before. I looked up to see everyone starring at me so I smile it of. "Thanks Lucy," I turn to face Tim who has a worried expression on his face.

"Thanks for your presence Tim," he gave me a smile but still looked sad. I walked out of the room and saw James in the corner watching everything unravel. "Thanks for the grade Sir," I smiled as I walked away.

This isn't the end.

I have two more exams and everything is going to be fine. I couldn't help but cry as I left the building. I have got myself in a impossible tangle. I wiped my eyes as I walked to my block.

"Michelle? Is that you?" I looked up and saw Jack with a concerned look on his face.

Make an excuse!

"I just got the news that my dog passed away," I say quietly as the tears falls. He opened his arms and I walked into his arms and breathed in his sweet scent.

"What was the name of your dog?"

Oh sweet sugars!

"James?" I said which sounded more like a question. Jack pulled away but kept his hands on my arm.

"That's weird I know a dog called James and he actually works here. The only reason why I call him a dog is because of the way he sees women. He sees them as meat. Nothing else. I hope you never come across him here," he looked at me carefully as I slowly nodded.

"I hope I never meet him either," I said and I can explain why I didn't tell him.

James and him are close and I don't want to be the reason why they might never talk because I am just the 'fake girlfriend'. Jack must have sensed that I was not saying something because he grabbed my face in his hand, squashing my cheeks inwards.

"Now look at me and tell me that you haven't seen James here," I gave him the 'I can't talk' look so he let go of my face and...and I lied.

I lied to him.

"I haven't Jack don't worry. I wouldn't let anyone that toxic come near me," he nodded in approval to my response before giving me a small kiss on my cheek.

"I don't want to ever see you cry again do you hear?" I nodded as I hugged him again. We stood there for a while until I saw the flashes of cameras before pulling away. I turned to leave but Jack pulled me towards him. He had a look of sadness and desperation in his eyes.

"I wish things were different Michelle."

"In what way?"

"In every damm way," with that he walked away leaving me speechless and alone. I went back into my block and into my room. I couldn't give up on my test. I already had two fails and have two more exams to do. I just need to put in my all. I pinned the exams on my wall. Oh James you are so screwed when I finish with you. I pulled my chair back and took my seat before putting my glasses on.

I picked up my text book and started my reading. The words in my textbook started to blur and I felt the tears run down my face. I wiped my face again before my suspicion started to rise.

Crying in front of Jack.

Crying now.

I groaned as I rushed to my sanitary drawer and pulled out some 'always' pads before rushing of into the toilets. I checked myself and saw that I was on my cycle. Or you could say I have reached my time of month. I hated periods because the next day I always feel the pain no matter how much paracetamol I take and I take a lot.

The only people who loved it when I am on my period is my parents because then they know I haven't done their worst nightmare.

Sleeping with a guy.

I changed my underwear before placing a pad onto it and wearing it before washing my hands and going back into my room. I sat myself down and concentrated on my reading and soon I was lost in my text book.

***

Everyone has a conscious. It is a voice in your head which tells you your embarrassing yourself when you are twerking weirdly at a rave.

It is a voice which tells you to lie when your teacher is trying to catch you out.

It is the voice which makes you feel bad when you have had an argument with your parents and have said horrible things to them.

It is the voice which makes you feel good when you have achieved something wonderful...but imagine.

Imagine if you didn't have a conscious. Imagine there being no voice to tell you any of this. You would just be doing what you feel and not everything you feel is right or legal.

A good example being me and James. Right now my conscious is making me want to strangle him BUT it's illegal.

I yawn quietly before closing my book.

I need to sleep.