" If someone says 'ugly', say 'Excuse me, I am not a mirror.'"
-Unknown
"If I won the laziness award, I would send someone to pick it up for me."
-The Cat
"Zombies eat brains. You're safe."
-Smart Aleck
"Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you are drunk."
- I'm In The Real World
"Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it's just a soap opera."
-Mila
" 'Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?' Me: 'Why are you teaching during my conversation?' "
-Class Clown
"I'm not clumsy. Just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies and the walls are in the way."
-Klutz
"Dear Math, Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you."
-Exhausted Me
"Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything!"
-Unknown
