I must tell you now that the problem is not that he is my brother's best friend, even though he was my best friend first, and the fact that he is at my house all the time is not the problem either. I have gotten used to him being around and expect him to be there. I can't imagine him not being there. The problem is the way he - No. The problem is- I'm not sure what the problem is, but it is enough to say that I have a problem with my brother's best friend.
Although I cannot peg what my problem with him is, I have an inkling that it will have a magnanimous change in the way we, specifically me, have seen one another in the past. There is a turbulence of emotions inside of me that I can't begin to describe, and the worst part is facing the truth, whatever that truth may be, will be harder than I have ever imagined.
The truth can sometimes be hard, harsh, or worse, scary, so the fact that I may have to face this truth that I cannot come to terms with or even think of at the moment has me in pins and needles. I also don't know what this change would mean. I am not ready for any of the changes or the results that could come from facing this thing with Zack. Zack is easy going, fun, and he knows just what to say when I am upset or having a bad day. To lose that would be devastating.
This problem with Zack has made my Senior year far more stressful than all my school life combined. Trying to figure it out is like trying to figure out the disappearances in the Bermuda Triangle. I wonder if I'll be able to figure it out before we graduate. We use to be so close. Now when I see him it's as if I was invisible. His eyes use to light up and he'd smile.
Now, there's nothing. I don't know if it was something I did or say. If I knew exactly what it was then I would know exactly what to do to fix it. But that's just it, I don't know. According to my brother Johnny, he started acting like this when I left the homecoming dance. Whether that is true or not, I still don't know how to fix this because I am not sure what it is that he wants from me. I cannot fathom the thought of him being mad at me. If anything, I should be the one that should be mad. If he hadn't. And if I hadn't. I wouldn't be so confused. But I should probably start looking back at the beginning. The very beginning and see if I can put the pieces together.
YOU ARE READING
The Boy I've Always Loved (Completed)
Teen FictionIt's Sadie's Senior year and she has to come to terms with her feelings for Zack. She has known Zack since the 4th grade, but she has never once thought about him as a boyfriend. As a senior in high school, she has to face what she has been avoiding...
