What I Have Learned From Love

The Crush

It was 2012 I had just moved to a new elementarty school I was in fourth grade this year and I felt really awkward leaving my old school and old neighborhood.
     It was the first day and I only made one friend after spending the summer here, My next door neighbor who was also going to be in my same 4th grade home room. She was the complete opposite from me. She towered over me by a foot and was alot more intimidating than me. I still could fit a size 6/8 in pants and hadnt even started wearing training bras.

When I sat down in my home room and listened to the announcements I was growing more and more anxious about this new environment. You were sitting behind me. You had short dark brown hair and matching eyes. Your eyes were so dark I couldnt differentiate your pupil and iris. You made some corny joke and i just looked at you "you dont talk much do you?"

Silence.

I was unbelievable awkward but ive never had a crush before. Just that summer I was appalled by boys in general. Over the year me and you became best friends but deep down i knew that I had this fluttery feeling in my stomach when I was around you. 

Around this time I started writing "songs" in this diary my dad got me for christmas. (Fun fact im now almost 17 and still have this diary)

This diary was filled with little stories and songs about you. By the end of the school year I knew i liked you and I knew that I would never tell you.

The start of 5th grade was slowly approaching and i couldnt wait to see you.
This year other kids realized that we liked eachother and would make jokes and be would say "ew gross" and try and hide our feelings.  Me you and two other girls signed up to be helpers in the morning for a first grade classroom and we grew even closer. I thought i was a hopeless crush. I followed you everywhere. I signed up for the after school program to spend a few hours after school with you, We would talk on the phone for hours every night even my mom knew I had a crush.

One morning when we were helping in the first grade class all four of us were sitting at a round table sorting crayons you sitting straight across from me. And one of the other girls start a game of truth or dare and asks you who you Like and you didnt answer. I looked down because I felt like your response to that question would hurt my feeling amd make me jelous. She asks again and I look up and you are pointing straight at me.

Shortly after that you asked me out on a note saying

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

I checked yes and my fifth grade was changed in one day. I had my first boyfriend. Some girls were jealous and mad but you did let it upset me. We never kissed or really held hands we were basically best friends who complimented eachother alot. It was really cute and sweet. 

You broke up with me on my birthday and started dating my best friend.

I wasnt sad I was pissed off. I guess what i learned from you was that its okay to love and get hurt. Its okay to take risks and experience something you have never experienced before. I also learned that best girl friends can stab you in the back and not care at all.