Ramadan has just to come to an end. 8 months of humbling myself and becoming a better person. Dammit, the devil is now free! As I waited to pray the morning prayer, I finished up my youtube video. Let me introduce yourself! I'm not your typical "all-around" muslim girl, I pray my five prayers, try to dress modest but I have a secret obsession. CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE MY LIFE. As I rapidly scroll down my macbook screen to see the updates on the missing Malaysian plane! I realize something! I freeze going into deep thought and my brain does some sort of weird calculation and I come up with a theory!
"MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" I yell while hurrying down the stairs trying to catch my breath.
"Why are you yelling so loudly Marella? I heard y.." She scowls.
"MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, MOMMMM! THE MALAYSIAN PLANE IS NOT MISSING! IT WAS ABDUCTED BY OBAMA AND HIS LITTLE FEENS AND THEIR BEING USED AS LAB RATS FOR GENETIC TESTING." I SHOUTOUT WHILE TRYING TO CATCH MY BRAIN.
"Are you ludricious? Insane? Crazy? Where do you come up with such bizarre theories? What did I do wrong in raising you Marella? ohmygod my daughter is crazy!" she cries.
"Mom., relax lets pray."
As I finish up the morning prayer, I realize no one understands me. I attend typical Islamic classes every Saturday and Sunday but none of these people understand the way I think. No one understand my thought processes and it drives me insane! I start senior year tommorrow and I am not looking forward to it! I rather lock myself up in a room with a lion and let it eat me for all three meals.. Okay.. there I go going off thought but I'm not popular and I don't get bullied either. I don't talk to anyone because I'm usually in the philosophy section of the library questioning the universes. My muslim friends always tell me to quit reading this stuff because apparantely "I will head in the devil's direction."
Later that evening, I was flipping through my closet trying to figure out what to wear for senior year. It's so annoying how I have to always look socially representable. Ugh going to a prestigious school sucks! They sent me home for wearing SWEATPANTS AND A HOODIE! I CURSE THE PRESIDENT OF THIS PLACE! As I scrolled through tumblr blogs and looked at the various scarf colors lined up on my floor, I realized there is more to life than clothes! Why can't we just explore the WORLD OR TRAVEL TO SPACE AND COME BACK?? My mom came into my room and watched me for twenty minutes mumbling to myself about society's norms.
"Honey.. she's entering her crazy moods again.. what should we do?" she whispered to my father.
"Slowly step back.. don't run.. don't walk too slow. Hurry before the lion attacks us!" my dad exclaimed.
"THANKS MOM AND DAD FOR REFERRING TO YOUR CHILD TO AN ANIMAL WHO EATS LIVING ORGANISMS FOR A LIVING. THANKS! YOU GUYS ARE BY THE FAR THE MOST NON-ABUSIVE PARENTS I HAVE EVER HAD." I cried while bumping my head into the wall.
I finally figured out an outfit to wear for the first day of school! My long summer dress with the flowers plus my favorite cardigan I purchased at american apparel.
"I'm going to kill you," I cried out the next morning.
"You wouldn't wake up for fajr!!! " my dad yelled while I put him in a headlock so fierce that I knew somewhere in the world Mike Tyson looked up into the sky and thought someone is making me proud.
"WHY ARE YOU ABUSING YOUR FATHER?" my mom glanced around the the room and threw me across the couch.
My mom is half Irish and half arab, and my dad was born and raised in Canada. He reverted to Islam when he was studying in University,
"Okay.. dear.. today is your senior year! make your mother proud! focus on school and don't kiss any boys." my mom excitedly clapped as I exited the car. I looked around my surroundings and thought of punching myself in the face. A bunch of sophomores blocked my line of sight and was talking about how much alcohol they consumed this summer! I wanted to tie all their hair into several knots and flip them onto a tree! Why do I have to listen to this at 8am in the morning? Did I have a former life? As I mumbled atrocities, I accidently bumped into a hijaabi girl wearing all black. She looked at me like I was a centipede about to chase her soul and ran off.
I ran off to her and I had a vision in my head that this was going to my soul mate. I chased her like my life depended on it and she zigzagged through numerous halls to avoid me. I tried a smart tactic and took another route. She was hiding in a corner about to dial the authoritities because of me.
"Are you seriously scared of me?!" I cried.
"It's not everyday someone chases you all over the school yelling out soulmate. You seem like a nice person and all but I am not a lesbian." she blushed.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA oh wow! NoNoNo! I didn't mean it in that sense! I just want to be friends."
"Oh. This is extremely awkward. I'm Munira and I just moved here from Canada." she turned scarlett.
"Oh wow! I'm Marella! I believe we are going to be best friends."
As we compared schedules and talked about our summers, the warning bell rang. My mom is going to strangle me I thought as I ran across the corrider (adding a cartwheel) and entered class with my hijaab all over the place thinking I will not have any friends in this place. I ran to the back of the classroom before the teacher came and started drawing Venus. i have this strange addiction to planets, I'm emotionally connected with them. The fact my body is made up of millions and millions of atoms is incredible! I am related to Aliens and I've never been so happy in my life. As I started thinking about UFOs and if they existed, my teacher entered the classroom.
"Hi class. I'm Mr.B and I will be teaching you English! Let's go around the class introducing ourselves!" he clapped happily.
As everyone continued to introduce theirselves and talk about boring, typical things they did this summer. I was daydreaming about Galleleo and the fact that he stared at the sun for years and the end result was him becoming blind. There's just something incred..
"hellloooooooooooo?? girl thats daydreaming in the back???" mr.b said
"mind introducing yourself??"
Oh, dammit. Not even into an hour of school and I'm known as the daydreamer. Ugh, I looked around the room at all the curious glances analyzing me in the room and abruptly stood up and said "I am not a terrorist or a towelhead." The whole classe's mouth dropped and Mr.B gave me a small grin. "I am not going to hurt anyone in this classroom so stop observing my movements like I'm a specimen in a biology lab."
"Whats your name? I am going to enjoy having you in this class." the teacher asked.
"I'm Marella! I love reading about illusions and watching documentaries on youtube. I don't eat people for fun and I love all human beings! Woo! Free the WORLD! " I stood on the chair while deliberately performing this whole introduction. I'm pretty sure 95% of the class labelled me as not normal but whatever! "I also met my soulmate. She's hiding somewhere in the classroom wearing all black." I cried getting off the chair. Suprisingly, Mr.B was laughing hysterically in the corner. A teacher that didn't punish me for not filtering myself? I am going to love this classroom very much and build memories! As the bell rang for lunch, I skipped out of the class singing to myself free the children. I saw my soulmate across the corrrider, I ran as fast as I could and jumped over the sophomores.
"SOULMATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
"Oh no. I'm new to this school! Please! Stop! I don't want to be labelled." Munira whispered frantically.
"Oh sorry! I'll try to tone it down." I sadly replied.
Haha. As we waited in line for lunch, some one cut in line before me acting as if though he ran the capitilist system. (people in power) I wanted to choke him so bad and put him into a headlock but I remembered my faith and abruptly came to a stop when I realized I wasn't allowed to touch boys. I took my black flats and kicked him from behind as hard as Mike Tyson would let me.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY DID YOU DO THAT? YOU STUPID GIRL." he cried loudly.
"You cut in front of me walking in a manner that was disrespectful to my friend and I. Also, everyone in this cafeteria. Learn some respect! Did you not learn a single matter in this prestigious school?" I confidently repilied.
"Wow. A muslim that speaks english! what an amazing discovery." he retorted smarty.
Next chapter is going to be wonderful!
