Diary vent kind of thing and sometimes Poetry

just me ranting

So for like the whole week my mom has been absolutely awful yesterday I went shopping with her and I got up at like 7 in the morning which is early for me because I'm home school, went around and I did all the errands show me I need to do I ran with her to every single freaking store I put all the groceries in the car I put the groceries in the house but it still wasn't enough because I wasn't moving fast enough putting the groceries away all by myself so she used the whole I'm making dinner so you need to help with everything tactic so I took the trash out I put all the groceries away help my little brother with his homework all well I wasn't feeling good had a headache my stomach was hurting but she didn't care because she was making dinner and that's more important that her boyfriend eats dinner when he gets home because that's where she gets her money and that's all that matters right. And so this morning at 6 a.m. she asked me are you going to go shopping with me again and I said I didn't really feel like it and she knew trip to me to high heaven she kept saying stuff like oh it's so much more fun when someone goes with me I guess I'll just go alone and she literally kept asking and of course I didn't want to go with her I was treated like garbage one of them with her yesterday so why would I want to go with her again but of course I went anyways because I can't disobey my mother. I do everything she asked me to do get her water help her with dinner take the trash out. My little brother pick him up from school make sure I get good grades make sure everybody's dinners hot before I even sat down to eat mine everything she wants me to do I do she says jump I say how high I am her dancing monkey but when I asked if I can go to my friends on the weekend she says no and treats me like I'm some kind of criminal like I have done something so awful that I can never leave the house ever because I'm just a terrible person right I'm just so awful why would I be able to get to see my friends because I haven't seen any of them in months I haven't left the house besides to go with my mom places in months I don't get to go to my friend's house I don't get to go to the mall I don't get to go to the movies I get to help her grocery shopping and I get to do homework that's all I get to do. She treats me like how she should have treated my sister's because she gave them so much freedom and they did drugs they drank got pregnant did stupid shit because they could and they didn't care and my mom didn't care and so now she treats me like I'm then like I'm going to go out there and do drugs and drink I am the most  anti-drug anti-alcohol person you will meet because I've seen what drugs did my sister's I see what alcohol does to my mom  so why would I want to go do that to myself all I want to do is be a 16 year old I want to meet people make friends fall in love and fall out of love because we're 16 and it's guaranteed we're going to break up eventually I wanted to experience life I want to be 16 I want to go to the mall with my friends and not buy anything because I have no money because I'm not allowed to get a job because my mom doesn't want me to succeed she wants to meet me trap here for the rest of my life because as long as I'm here she has a free made and a free babysitter because that's all I am to my family is a babysitter I'm not treated as a daughter or sister anymore because they have little kids to all my sisters use me as their babysitter so they can go out and Gamble and drink it's ridiculous but this is how I'm stuck until I'm 18 because I can't do anything about it I have to live through it or run away like 1 of my 3 sister's did