Waiting For You

Chapter 4

I don't know how, but somehow, seven months after I'm diagnosed, I reach my 16th birthday. The huge sweet sixteen bash I'd been planning since I was twelve is reduced to some cake and a few presents with my parents and older brother in my hospital room. The presents are really nice, an emerald necklace from my parents and new purple Toms from my brother. I stay out of bed nearly all day, relaxing in my wheelchair. Spirits are pretty high since I'm doing pretty well. I've even caught a few whispers of a full recovery. But I try my best to avoid this talk- I know I'm going to die. Maybe not anytime soon, but eventually I will. As my birthday goes on, of course the boys are there, along with Dani. They bring balloons and more gifts- a new notebook, pencils, and a head scarf. I'm happy to receive it all. Niall stands towards the back of the group- its been pretty tense between us since that night at the beach. I try to catch his eye and smile, but he pretends not to see. I'm hoping it isn't contempt at what happened- I'm praying he's trying just as hard as I am to stay apart. I fight the urge to look down and bite my lip- the siren to anyone that I'm uncomfortable. Instead I turn to Dani and start talking with her. After awhile, I'm worn out and visiting hours are over anyways. Everyone files out slowly, leaving Niall. I look sleepily up at him standing in the doorway.

"Well... Good-bye." I say cautiously.

"Happy birthday, princess. I hope and pray there's many more to come." he says softly, then turns quickly and leaves, leaving me in yet another state of shock.

~ ~ ~

The next day, I'm taken to get an MRI that will determine the state of my cancer. I get one every month, and so far the results have slowly but surely getting worse. Afterwards, I brace myself for more bad news. But the day after that, what the doctor comes and tells me is shocking.

"Allie, the cancer cells have stopped progressing." he says cheerily. Puzzled, I inquire:

"What exactly does that mean?"

"It basically means that the cells have frozen in place. They aren't any worse then they were last month. Granted, they aren't any better, but this has given us new hope."

I sit there for a moment mulling over his words, and then it dawns on me. I might survive. I actually have a chance now! Maybe the cancer has been stopped in its tracks. Or maybe I'm still doomed. After all, this news isn't exactly a cure. But the simple thought that I might be okay, I might be able to be with Niall, dies down any negative thoughts. A grin spreads across my face, and a shriek escapes my lips. My mom and dad laugh and wrap their arms around each other. My brother smiles for what seems like the first time in since I was diagnosed. This is the happiest day of my life!

~ ~ ~

Three days later, the boys are back to visit. I immediately greet them with the good news- and of course they're just as happy. And- perhaps the best part- Niall scoops me up and spins me around. I laugh as he does. I'm about to ask him to put my down- but my words are knocked down by the sudden feel of his lips against mine. At first I'm surprised, and I glance around the room quickly. The boys are staring, just as shocked as me. But then I let my eyes closed and melt into his mouth. I slowly pull back and state up at him. He sets me back down and stands beaming at me.

"Niall, you know I can't-" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"Allie, I've been in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I always tried to hold back, knowing nothing could come of it, since you'd be gone soon. But now there's hope for us- and I'm grabbing this chance while I can." he tells me sincerely. Tears well in my eyes.

"I can't. I don't want to disappoint you- you know I'm probably not gonna make it." I turn to look around at everyone. "Just because of this small sliver of hope, doesn't mean we can... Start believing. Yes, we should stay positive. But I can't start thinking about, what if I'll make it? Because if- no, when- I don't, it's gonna be harder on everyone." at this, the boys all look down at the ground. Except Niall. He takes my hand and says,

"I know. But I'll take any time we have together. I don't care if it's one month or one year- as long as we're together."

"Okay. Okay." I squeeze his hand and give him the best smile I can manage. After that, we all try lightening the mood, Louis being his usual random self and attempting to build a house out of the various hospital needles and utensils by my bed. Of course I laugh along with everyone, but it's forced. Because, in spite of all that has happened, I can't shake the feeling that this relationship is a bad idea. I don't want to let him down. I don't want to hurt him, knowing I won't be here much longer. But I can't help it- our love is too strong. I just keep hoping its strong enough to conquer even death.