Dan was always on the shy side. A quiet, obnoxiously tall kid with wild messy hair that was never seen because he would ritually straighten it. He had a few 'friends' to be near at school. A nice home. An annoying brother. Decent, sort of strict, parents. He had hobbies, which was mainly video games, piano and religiously watching YouTube. Hell, he even had a pet hamster, that is until it ran away. But something was always missing.
He never had somewhere, or someone, to feel at home with. He felt observant in his own body, as if life wasn't in his control. That we were all following a code, or routine. Something was always off. He was never at home.
Everyone was always so happy. Whether it was a sport, hobby, or a person that made them so happy. But he never felt it. That overwhelming feeling of happiness, love, excitement, a purpose to keep living to feel something just like that. A desire to spend every second of every day with that thing that made you feel so full of joy.
He lived his life, day to day, watching everyone find it. One day a friend bursting with excitement as they discovered that they love to play the guitar and is actually good at it. Opportunities fell into their lap, new places and things to do in life.
Another fulfilled when they met their person and started a relationship to keep them satisfied. Eventually, everyone would find their thing. The thing to start your life with. A passion. A starting point to have when you graduate and are expected to do something with your life.
Sometimes, Dan even questioned about life in general. He never found his thing and had to watch everyone get theirs. So what even is life? Was it worth living? Why are we here? Why am I here? I don't have a purpose, a thing to have. So why do we even live?
He kept those thoughts to himself. He wouldn't dare say anything, for risk of getting sent away for help for just questioning life and all it's factors. Nobody quite understood what he was thinking or feeling. So he kept it away.
Time was running out and it was his last year of high school. This is the time where students are pressured into finding their thing, and to start their life once the cap and gown is taken off. Dan couldn't help but feel lost, alone and confused because he simply didn't know what to do.
He supposed he could go to university and find a nice profession to study- something to give him the things needed for life and a respectable reputation. But he knew that choosing law wouldn't give him happiness. But he didn't know what would, and he had to pick something. He was expected to know exactly what to do with his life immediately.
He had never felt at home or felt the feeling that everyone else did.
But then he found Phil. And everything changed.
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new phanfic, here we gooooooooooooooooooo
YOU ARE READING
home// phan
Fanfiction"do you have to go home?" "no, because I finally found my home" ------------------------------------------------ 2009ish cute phan story with happy ending. will put notice on trigger warnings :)
