Matthew Silver and the Monster Hunters, Book One: The Darkest Waters

Chapter Eleven

JadeCHAPTER ELEVEN

Jade was worried.

She actually spent a great deal of her time worrying. It was one of her worst flaws.

Matthew had once told her that his anxieties usually faded with time. He was able to grow out of them. Hers only built up, creating a volcano of apprehension and fear that would erupt at the worst times possible.

Her temper didn’t make things easier for her. The more stressed she was, the easier she found it to explode in a ball of fiery wrath that would send even Matthew running.

She had been fighting for her life all her life, and she was getting downright sick of it. Each fight left her with more dread of the next. She was tired of feeling that way. The recruits were assured that they were making a difference, but she didn’t feel like she was. Sure, she saved lives for a living, but she felt like a behind-the-scenes character. No one would ever know what she did anyways. What was one Hunter’s worth out of the entire CCU? She had come to a decision about what she was going to do. She was done risking her life for nothing.

She had been about to tell Matthew about her decision, but they’d interrupted by a mission that was hundreds of times worse than anything they had ever faced before. She was ready to throw in the towel, not go to an early death, but Matthew, as always, had eagerly leapt forward to the challenge.

Then there was Matthew. Matthew, who had always stuck by her through thick and thin, even with all of her flaws. Silver was like no one she had ever met before, which wasn’t really saying much, considering she didn’t know many people, other than the other recruits at the Virginia Sector.

When she had met him years ago, they hadn’t exactly gotten along. He had thought she was annoying. She had thought he was a jerk. The only thing that they had had in common was that they had both been oddballs. They had both been outcasts. Of course, with time, they had managed to solve their differences, and he had become her closest friend and partner, but as close as they were, she felt like he was blind to her. Most of the time, he could understand how she felt, but he never noticed her growing unease. Sometimes she felt like he wouldn’t understand her, even if she screamed her feelings with a megaphone into his ear.

It was probably because he loved his job. It was no secret that Matthew enjoyed being a Hunter. He probably believed that she felt the same way. Matthew was destined for greatness within the Hunters, but she wasn’t sure that she was. As much as she wished to stay close to her friends, she didn’t feel like the Virginia Sector

 was any place for her anymore. It wasn’t her home anymore. It was a rest stop between fights.

He won’t understand. He’ll hate you, a little voice said.

She chided herself for thinking that. But even still, she carried a load of apprehension about voicing her decision to him.

Her anxiety issues went all the way back to the Academy. When she had been accepted into the Academy, they had only noticed her for her remarkably high intellect. This had gotten her a lot of persecution from the more physically adept children. She’d earned many nerdy titles for her skill, along with a few beatings from the really mean students. Things like that did things to a young child’s mind. Fear of the next day, fear of other children, fear of lacking skills, fear of failing the physical exams.

Her turning point had been after a particularly bad beating. She had hid in her closet to cry. Back then, her closet had been her rest stop between fights. She remembered tearfully promising herself that no one would ever hurt her again the way that they had.