Aint it awful to be young and suicidal

【Chapter 4】

I hated myself for her dying. I'm the cause of her suicide.

And what I didt understand is why I didt pull that gun in me too. But learned to cope with guilt as greed soon came over me.

I wish I was a pretty girl with a dream. I thought. One with dreams of a Prince Charming. But I was the only girl with a pack of cigarettes and liquor hid in her room. Trying to die. With my only friend being dead. **phone rings***i picked it up** "this is dr. Melanie, I think you should come for another appointment. Hello.? Is this charlotte? "Yes.it is. I thought my therapy sections were over? " I said she replied "they were but I have heard news and I think you should come in tomorrow" **i hung up**

The one thing about being young and suicidal is people remind you of it. Like being stabbed and then saying Your bleeding. Like no shit. I don't need help. I decided to sleep. But what I thought about is the darkness of happiness and the serenity of bullshit. And that people could live with that very fact. But I soon fell asleep. I woke up in a haze to find someone sitting in the corner. It was a man. With a book. A ciggertte and staring at the wall. I look up startled. It was the boy from the library. He said I came to give you a fine and your door was open so I Walked in. I saw you sleeping so I thought I'd wait for you. She smirked. He had emerald eyes. But with that look of deportation, the one you gave before you asked for money. The greed in his eyes. He sat up. I flickered my eyes. And picked myself up. And grabbed the fine. We'll, would you like coffee?

He said sure. Want to go to the shop down town. ?