Aint it awful to be young and suicidal

《Chapter 3》

I got out of school. But today was different. I felt like a craved love. And not like a kiss on the cheek from mom. I wanted a partner, a friend,and a soul mate. But I didt even have one friend anymore. What thinks I can get a boyfriend. I opened my book and began reading chapter 21. As that boy looked by. I really had feelings for him. But anyway I pushed off reading. I need a cigarette. I walked home and found my stash. I live alone but people come over. I pulled out the blade. And looked at it for awhile. I pulled out the Camera . "*puffs smoke* suicide attempts--3 suicidal thoughts--2 hours ago *puffs smoke* love char" I turned it off and put it back in the shoe box. *puffs smoke* I'm so done.

*Kamires pov*

I left my note book at charlottes house. I hope she does not read it. I'm going to pick it up.

*Char pov again*

I'm going to do it. I'm bitterly done with life. I grabbed my pill bottle . It fell and spilled every where.

*Kamires pov*

Here. I'm going just walk in like I used to.

*chars pov*

I grabbed the glass of water and grabed a handful. Threw it in my mouth as kamire walked in. She was stood in amazement. Until she grabbed my pack of cigarettes. Took one out and lit it. I was confused. I took another handful and drank. And another. I felt dizzy. Kamire *puffs smoke* and says "I'll let you finish because I know it sucks to be young and sucidal" then kamire looked in the cabinet and grabbed the gun. She pointed it at me then turned It around. It was to her head when she said "were all Lonely here" and bomb. I was too dizzy to even understand what was going on. But I called 911.

(911 operator) this is 911 what is your emergency?

(Me) my friend has committed suicide and I have attempted.

(911) were sending a trooper and ambulance. I feel to the ground and took her cigarette off the ground *smoke puffs* and I said "I didt even know and couldn't say goodbye".

Kamire was gone. Everyone was gone. I'm screwed really. I don't understand why kamire did it. I was not sad. More so happy she's better now. It was a Saturday. So I went to the library. He was there drinking a coffee eating a bagel . I was scared so I walked out. But I decided to turn around and walk back in. I asked the lady where the book "paper towns" was. Kamire was gone and I was going to read my way out of it. But apparently he was a worker and told the lady "I'll take this one"

He ended up walking forward and picking a book of his own table. He said "it's a good one" I replied "I really hope so" she half smiled. I walked away saying "have a nice day" but I'm not sure what I was doing. **walked out of the library**I pulled a cigarette out and lighted it. Shit. I said. I ran towards the road **puffs smoke**. It was kamires funereal. I went how I was.

I got on the bus. And got of a couple blocks way from the funeral. And I forgot about my speach. I sat beside a lady I've never met. But I should have known. The preacher started to speak "kamire was a wonderful,intelligent person" and blah blah blah. That's all I thought "now kamire Harrison's bestfriend will come and tell is about her. I picked up my one at a time. Like a spoiled dirtbag. And took my time to the small Podium. I said "she was a great person. I can sit here and explain why I wish she didt die. But I'm glad she did" the whole room gasped. I started again "because it really sucks to be young and sucidal. It does.. Her last breath was spent saying were all Lonely here. But infact when you want to die. Your popular because the damn voices in your head are mumbling ideas of exotic new ways to harm or kill yourself. In furthermore kamire was a quite person with a wonderful personality no one saw." I literally left after that.