{Pic of Neel}
Song: Brother
Artist (s): Kodaline
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me
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Do you ever have that moment of satisfaction, where you feel so contented with the phase your life is in? But with that being said you realise that it still isn't perfect? There are aspects that need to be improved or cut off entirely? Laying next to Neel, his arms wrapped around my waist pulling me in closer, I couldn't help but sigh in satisfaction whilst my mind raced with everything that was wrong with my life.
How did Neel not hate me even the slightest for what I had put him through? What if he did? Did his feelings change after everything? Am I not good enough anymore? I'm just a burden, aren't I?
"No, I'm not going to lose feeling. No, I'm not going to find someone better. No, I'm not going to cheat on you. And no, I'm not going to leave you. I've already made up my mind. I want you and only you. No one else...because to me, you're my kind of perfect." Neel's arms tightened around me as he spoke up as though he could read my mind. I sighed turning around so I wasn't facing him anymore.
"My biggest fear isn't that you'll lie to me one day or that you'll cheat on me. My biggest fear is that one Tuesday morning you'll wake up before me and instead of leaning in and kissing me on the cheek, you'll looking at sleeping body and begin to notice all my flaws. My scars, my chapped lips, the stretch marks along my stomach and thighs. You'll think about my random spouts of jealous or the fact that I don't talk a lot. You'll remember how annoying it is no matter what. You'll walk into the kitchen and brew up your favourite coffee, stare at the pale rays of sunshine through the window, and come to the conclusion, that for no particular reason you don't want me anymore." By the time I finished by breath was ragged and my heart was heavy.
I felt Neel's body move behind me until I found myself pinned under him, his burning eyes staring down at me. Lifting his right hand he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before capturing my lips with his own. It wasn't that type of kiss that screamed I want you nor was it the type to scream I need you. It was the type that somehow slowly whispered that I want to be with you forever.
"I hope you know that every time I tell you to come home safe, stay warm, have a good day, or sleep well what I'm really saying is that I love you. I love you so damn much that it's starting to steal the meaning of other words." he leaned down to peck my forehead just as my breathe hitched.
"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I'm with you. I love you for not only what you've made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part that you bring out of me. I love you so damn much and I don't think I can stop" I blinked trying not to let my tears flow. After years of being used and abused to have someone love me for who I truly am was the most refreshing feeling in the world.
"I love you too" I choked out. "I love you, I'm not perfect, but I love you. I really do. You're the only one who fought for me and made me believe that I was worth it. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but right now all I want is you. I wasn't planning on loving you, but I'm glad I did and I don't think I could help it because what you have given me I could never repay." My arms wound around his neck, hands tangling in his hair.
"I didn't give you anything, you couldn't have given yourself" He muttered placing his head in the crook of my neck. I shook my head.
"You did. You saved me." I whispered.
"You saved yourself" He replied instantly. I sighed pulling away from him and sitting up.
"No. You saved me" I emphasised. Neel sat up looking at me intently.
"What do you mean" His voice was hard and his Adams apple bopped. I snapped my eyes shut not wanting to travel down the same empty road.
"The day you decided to help me was the day I had given up." I stared at the ceiling not have the courage to look anywhere else.
"I had given up everything. I couldn't take in anymore. I didn't want to." I bit my lip willing it to stop shaking. "If I had gone home that day, without a second thought I would be gone. But you didn't let me go home that day. That day you gave me hope of a better a future." I turned to look at Neel who was deathly silent. "You saved me".
"Do you still...think...that maybe...well..." Neel stuttered
"No." I replied instantly. "I don't. I've learned that everything in life has a solution. Some are easier to find whilst others aren't, but as long as you have the perfect support system, nothing can tear you down" I grasped Neel's hand in my own.
"I love you" I whispered in Neel's ear. He let out a contented sigh wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me into his lap.
"I love you too" he replied resting his chin on my shoulder. And there was silence. We didn't need anything more. But it wasn't enough. There were still demons waiting to be fought and they had been free long enough. If I couldn't fight for myself, I would fight for the people I loved.
It's about time.
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I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. I'm just extremely busy with university. This chapter was mostly focused on Neel and Olivia because a lot of people missed Neel and also it was essential for their story.
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The Bad Boy Saved Me ✔
Teen Fiction{SENSITIVE CONTENT} Olivia Greene. A typical nerd? Not really. Shy. Awkward. Fashion sense from hell? Of course. Olivia has been picked on her entire high school life. It's finally senior year and she can't wait to graduate and move away. But what...
