Cuts / Taekook

viii.

/3rd person POV/

It's been almost two month now, Jungkook became more depressed  but hid the fact from everyone, he hated the feeling of being a burden, sometimes he hated how people care too much and then gets angry and leaves, for a whole day or a week before coming back. The others were concerned about the maknae and tried to talk to him, but they never got anything out of him. Everyday that passed the more the younger became distance, more distracted, more angry, more sadder.

You're probably wondering where the hell is Taehyung? Will his schedule was packed since he was acting career was doing amazing at the moment. He wanted to reach out and talk to Jungkook, but he didn't even had enough time for him to eat and rest.

Right now, Jungkook was in his room staring at his wall, his room which had so much color was drained out of every color in the room, it became black and white to him. He always thought of consuming some random pill and die, but he didn't want to die that way. He thought of everyway to die, he had enough of living... mostly breathing, he felt emotionless at the moment, he felt like everything taunted him, mostly the voices taunt him. He couldn't take it anymore he thought, he slowly rolled up his sleeves seeing all the cuts on his wrists. He enjoyed the pain, he enjoyed how the cold metal felt in his hand, he heard a knock at the door, he quickly pulled down both of his sleeves before walking over to the door.

He opened it to only see Jimin softly smiling, bringing him mandu on a nice clean plate and soy sauce in a small bowl. Jungkook expression that was once dull turned into anger, and he slammed the door at his hyung and locked it. He didn't want to do that... but he could have done worse to his hyung, he was afriad he would do something bad to him, he honeslty wanted to cry out for help, but he always says the opposite.

He got a call from Jinyong and Jaebum, he didn't even bother answering the calls he slowly grabbed his diary and started to write. He hid the fact he was depressed to the outside.

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Can I take this mask off?
I'm suffocating from the mask I wear 24/7
Could I stop this lie?
That I'm truly happy?
Because I'm fucking not,
So I'll lie about so you won't notice,
So you won't have more on your plate to worry about.
I guess, I'm loving this lie I told myself.
Fuck.
When can I take this off?
This mascarde of lies.
I keep telling myself,
'Just put on this mask, nobody has to worry about you, right?'
I wonder how the hell I keep up there lies even though they kill me in the inside.
I could never admit it.
I'll keep my unhappiness, if that makes you happy.
I hid the fact im unhappy just behind this forced smile.
I cry in the inside but I'll never tell you that shit.
I'm scared, someone will find my lies.
I'm unwilling to let people in.
I'm afraid of these large crowds, seeing my fear in my eyes.
I'll hide it behind a smile.
I don't want to be your burden.

I'm sorry Jimin... I broke our promise, I hope you can forgive me someday..

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577 words. Hello readers, the end comes closer. Like a chapter or two be prepared. Love your author-nim. 💜💜