Wishful Thinking [vol. i] - Currently being rewritten

✥ prologue: a series of strange, yet somehow perfectly explainable events ✥

As you look back on what had just occurred in the past 30 minutes, by all means, it was improbable that you could have gotten yourself into this mess. But then again, it was not always clear to how you got yourself in this situation. Maybe it was not your fault in the first place. After all, was it really your fault that you decided to return the package at your door, for the single reason that it did not belong to you but to Ms. Dara, the nice old lady next door who always made an excuse to gift you with freshly baked goods, her macadamia and white chocolate cookies were pieces of heaven in bite sized pieces that - you were not embarrassed to admit – you would kill for.

It was definitely not your fault when the package exploded in your face when you reached the nicely painted white door of Ms. Dara, which you yourself had just painted 2 weekends ago in return for the buttery goodness of Ms. Dara's famed apple pie.

Hence, by proof of common sense and the need to not be the one to blame, you have concluded that it was not your fault. Which, surprisingly, made a whole lot more sense than it should.

If anything did not make sense, it was the fact that your face had not been blown off or your eyes blinded by the brilliant flash of white when the package did explode. But here you are, unharmed, dazed, and surprisingly not dead. Well, not dead, yet. Considering the fact that you are currently suspended at least 200 metres in the air, over a nice green and luscious forest, but, it was most likely that you – according to the ancient laws of physics in cartoons - will not be floating any longer. The sound of wind whooshing past your ears and clothes did in fact prove you right of the falling to your death hypothesis.

Nice.

You get to fall to your death. At least it will quick and painless.

Well, hopefully.

Hurtling towards the ground at an acceleration of 10 metres per second [thank you high school physics teacher for this useless, yet surprisingly, insightful fact] you wondered if you would ever get to taste Ms. Dara's rich and decadent triple-chocolate cake with strawberries ever again.

As your body rushed towards a small clearing in the forest, you came into terms with your imminent death, even daring to do a couple of somersaults and silly poses on your descent.

Just as you were about to hit the tree line, you could feel your body slow down gradually until you were gently placed upon the grassy ground softly. This strange occurrence allowed to think, 'Huh. I'm either going insane, or there is some strange shit going down,' before the appearance of a bright light and Ms. Dara's glowing form appeared before you. Which then gave way to the thoughts, 'Ms. Dara either gave me pot brownies, or I'm suddenly the main character of a new story who is about to gain seriously overpowered powers.'

Ms. Dara, as stated before, was your kind neighbor. She was an old woman, who gave off a loving grandmother vibe, further accentuated by her flowery, woolly cardigans, her gold-rimmed round glasses and her perfume [which was Chanel No. 5]. She always seemed to have a small, knowing and warm smile on her face, with twinkling kind hazel eyes that sparkled cheerfully when she smiled bright and wide, accentuating the deep crows feet at the corners of her eyes.

In conclusion, she looked like a harmless old lady.

But, that conclusion was quickly dashed when Ms. Dara turned into a beautiful, youthful woman right in front of your eyes. It's official. You're definitely dead and there is something resembling an afterlife. Well, you believed all that until Ms. Dara spoke in that sweet voice of hers.

"Hello, [f.name]. I've watched you for a while, and you are definitely someone who will do a lot of good. Especially in this world. Come, let me fill you in." Ms. Dara said, reaching out her hand to take yours, a warm smile still plastered on her face.

'What the fuck?' You thought to yourself, before reaching for her hand. Your [e.colour] eyes puzzled, as you stood up. Just as Ms. Dara was about to lead you who-knows-where, you froze, effectively stopping Ms. Dara walking any further. Ms. Dara sent you a quizzical stare and had opened her mouth to speak when you interrupted her with, "Wait, what is happening? You were old-looking around a minute ago, and not to offend you or anything, but that transformation thing you did. Yeah, that was hella creepy."

You even had the audacity to slump back onto the ground, your hands gripping your head in confusion, whilst you rambled on. A lilting laugh, made you raise your head and watch as Ms. Dara chuckled. 'Okay, a little rude Ms. Dara.' You thought, before Ms. Dara spoke in that gentle tone of hers, "My child, [f.name]. I am, what you may call, a benevolent guardian angel. I have taken you out of your world into another, because I believe you can change the fate of some of the people around here in this world."

Gingerly standing back up again, and brushing the dirt off your pants, you ask Ms. Dara, "And what world would this be?"

"Oh, it's Naruto. I have heard that your friend has shown you a couple of episodes?"

Ms. Dara's prompt response made you freeze. Great. Your probability of surviving was probably dwindling in the single digits at that revelation.

"Don't worry. I will be giving you a few tools to help you along the way." Ms. Dara added, before she grabbed your hands in hers. "I know how much you like Princess Azula's fire-bending power in that little cute T.V. show. So, I'll give you elemental bending powers." Ms. Dara grinned, before quickly adding, "Oh, I'm also giving you this handy handbook that has tips and tricks on what to do when you're in another dimension!"

And before you could protest, a small book was shoved into your hands and a bright white light blinded you once again.

Out of every fictional universe your 'guardian angel' could have dumped you in, she chose the one you had the least knowledge of? The only knowledge you even had were the following dot points:

+ Naruto was the main character.

+ Something about ninjas?

And if you tried to think very hard, you could remember another couple of dot points:

+ A duck-but?

+ There's some strange evil shit going on, like some demons or something, and

+ This was playing out exactly like that fanfiction your friend made you read.

You awoke, curled up on the cold, hard ground. Blinking your eyes quickly to get rid of the block spots that danced in your vision, you sat up slowly, wincing at the pounding headache that thrummed in your ears. Taking a quick look around you felt the handbook your lousy guardian angel gave you safely tucked away underneath your clothes, and you also noticed two people looking at you as if you were some weird anomaly.

But, to be fair, you were just some random person they found passed out on the ground, so you could forgive them for that. Groaning, you stood up slowly, walked a couple of metres towards the two figures – who looked like they were ready to cut your head off – croaked out a measly, "Where am I?" before passing out once again as you collapsed.

First impressions: 6.5 out of 10.

Probability of survival: 38.24%

||edited: 17 Sept 2018||