longshot. || nct johnny [COMPLETE]

30

it feels weird having to pack again. saori's done this a couple of times already but she still doesn't get used to it. she doesn't want to get used to it. she wants to find a permanent home someday.

luckily her grandma helped her in arranging her stuff, making sure all of her souvenirs fit in her suitcase.

once she was done, she paces around the nakamoto house, looking for her dad.

she leaves tomorrow with yuta and his family, so she wants to spend her last night just talking to her dad.

as usual, she finds him hanging out at the veranda, staring at her grandparent's zen garden.

"hey, dad." saori greets him, taking the spot next to him.

"hey, gumdrop." her dad smiles at her. "you done packing?"

"yeah, grandma helped," saori admits, leaning back and staring up the starry sky. she missed stargazing with her dad.

"hmm." it was silent. there was an elephant in the room they needed to address yet neither of them knew how to. saori pulls out her phone to see various message from johnny, doyoung, and even jaehyun(?).

but the one she stares at is the one that never replied to her.

"i still text her every now and then," she confesses.

her dad glances at her in surprise.

saori lets out a bitter laugh. "i mean, i know she won't ever respond but who knows, right?" she continues.

"i text her whenever i feel down. or when i get a pretty high grade on a test. or even when yuta makes a funny joke, and dons' insults get more creative day by day.

"i tell her about my crushes too. sometimes, i even asked if it's the same feeling she had when she liked you."

saori purses her lips together and meets her dad's teary eyes. "i never found out." her voice cracks.

"sao." her dad was crying now. "i'm so sorry, saori."

"it's not your fault, dad." saori feels the tears escape. "it's hypocritical for me to say that to you but sometimes...

"sometimes i feel like she left because she wasn't ready to have me."

"no, sao—" her dad reaches out for her hand. "it's not your fault either."

"i know, but—" saori sobs, covering her face with her free hand. "—but then momo left me as well. and then it all came back to me...

"i had this idea that maybe it's my fault that people kept leaving me, you know? it's my fault that i'm always alone."

"you're not alone, saori." her dad promises, pulling her into a hug. "you've got me, alright? you still have me."

"i know, dad. i just—i can be such a dumbass sometimes." saori tries to laugh it off.

her dad pats her head softly, giving it a kiss. "you're not a dumbass, alright? you'll always be my smart and witty gumdrop." he says. "and no matter what, always remember that we love you okay?"

"thanks, dad."

"i'm glad you talked to me about this. i'm sorry i'm not good at advice."

"it's okay dad, i'm not good at advice either."

"see, now that's my fault." her dad manages to joke, causing her to laugh. "i love you, saori."

"i love you too, dad." she then pulls away to wipe her tears away.