Caraphernelia

5 - day three

Monday

The light streams through the car window, straight into my eyes. I squint before holding my hand up to shield the light and then open my green eyes slowly. The alarm clock on my phone is blaring, I punch the screen with my finger until it shuts up.

That's when I notice the odd, unfamiliar warmth engulfing my entire body. I look down at the sleeping boy beside me, his arms wrapped around me and his face nestled into my chest, our legs entangled under the covers; and, for a moment, I forget everything, bolting upright only to bang my head on the ceiling of the car.

"Shit!" I yelp, falling back down and rubbing my forehead. Matteo stirs beside me, pulling away slightly as his eyes flutter open.

"What'd you just do?" He asks, suppressing a smile and tossing an arm over his eyes.

"Shut up," I snap, shoving his shoulder.

"Good morning to you, too, motherfucker."

"Oh, excuse me. Good morning, sleeping beauty." I say with a dramatic flourish of my hand.

"You should say. You were the one watching me in my sleep."

"Was not." I protest.

"Mhm." He smirks, then reaches over to retrieve his glasses and puts them on. "I'm gonna go get dressed. Be right back." I nod. He then opens the door and stumbles out of the van before going to the trunk to get clothes.

I rifle through one of my bags for my toothbrush, using a bottle of water to wet it and brush my teeth. I change into a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt, running my fingers through my short brown hair to comb it.

Matteo reappears, wearing ripped skinnies, Converse, and a familiar looking sweater.

"Is that my school sweatshirt?" I nod at it, the school's name is threaded in white letters over dark purple fabric. It's much too big on him, but he somehow makes it work, cute and comfy.

Matteo glances down and curses, "Fuck, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I'll go change." He rambles, his voice a bit rough from sleep.

"No, no, you're fine. You don't have to. I-it looks good on you."

Pink tints his cheeks and I realize what I just said. I cough awkwardly, "I mean, you can wear it. I don't care."

He shoots me a small smile, ducking his head in a silent 'thanks' before moving on.

➳ ➳ ➳

"What do we have for breakfast?" I call out to Matteo as I take my place in the driver's seat and he rummages through the trunk for food after we'd both gotten ready.

"Uh," He replies, "Chips, mini cakes, a jar of peanut butter, and more chips."

I roll my eyes, mentally slapping myself for not packing actual food. I'd brought sandwiches, but we had them polished off by Saturday night, living off of junk food since then.

"You know what?" I yell to him, "Fuck it. Let's just go get real food."

He mutters something like 'told you so' before plopping into the passenger seat.

➳ ➳ ➳

It literally takes an hour before we finally reach a town and pull into the parking lot of a Dunkin' Donuts.

"Ah! Finally!" Matteo screams, leaping out of the car before I even park it completely.

He races over to my side and opens the door, stomach growling, and once I'm out he takes my hand and drags me across the lot into the restaurant.

Soon enough we're seated at a booth, me mixing my iced coffee when a droplet sloshes over the side onto Matteo. I pay no attention to it.

"Hey!" Matteo yelps, and before I can apologize he tears a chunk of his bagel and chucks it at me.

"What the hell--?" I begin, then notice the devilish glint in Matteo's striking gray eyes. I smirk at him, "it's on."

I take a blob of icing from my donut onto my index finger and run over to Matteo's side. A broad smile takes over his features as he tries to scurry away, but he ends up trapping himself underneath me, me pinning him to the booth by his wrists and dolloping the icing onto his nose. He bursts out laughing so hard that I can't help but follow, and when we finally stop his chest still heaves up and down with each breath.

It's not until I see the red blazing across his cheeks that I notice what position we're in - me hovering over him on my knees with him between me - and push myself off him back to my side of the booth. He sits up, face red, and wipes the blob of icing off his nose and licks it from his finger, I can't help but wonder if he, I don't know, enjoyed that.

➳ ➳ ➳

That night as we're setting up the makeshift bed in the backseat of Matteo's van, the music is blaring full blast from his phone.

"They left us alone, the kids in the dark, to burn out forever, or light up a spark, we come together--" Matteo sings softly along with the band, his voice flowing as if it comes naturally to him.

"You're a pretty good singer," I comment as I throw the last of the pillows in and haul myself into the van again.

Matteo follows, pulling a blanket up before settling down beside me. "T-thanks. I'm actually a music student at school, so." A faint blush washes over his cheeks. He blushes a lot, at the slightest compliment or when he screws something over or when you tease him.

"It suits you," I nod. "Hey, what's this song, again?"

"Uh, Kids in the Dark. All Time Low."

I nod again and scoff. "Fits me."

After a moment of awkward silence, Matteo shuffles beside me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"What do you mean by that? And you said Cara's cold company, what's that mean?"

"Oh. . . It's just--"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," He adds quickly.

"No no, I do. I'm just thinking, that's all." Another minute passes before I speak up again.

"Okay, so there's a quote by Gotye that says, 'told myself you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company', and that's basically how I feel. I stay with Cara because she's all I have. My parents never cared for me, I've always been alone. And Cara, she's treats me the same way. She doesn't really pay attention to me, I don't even think she cares for me like I care for her, but at least she's stayed with me. At least she's still there, even if it doesn't always feel like it, you know?"

Matteo nods slowly, processing what I just told him and I can't help but feel embarrassed. I've never told anyone like that before.

"Yeah, I know," Matteo begins, staring at the roof of the van. "It's kinda the same for me. Our parents never really cared much for me, they revolved around Cara. I mean, who wouldn't? She's the popular one, the loud one that stands out. Me? I'm the quiet, invisible twin. But I'm used to it. I have Camille and Elliot."

Then, I don't know what overcomes me but underneath the covers my hand finds itself taking Matteo's, tangling our fingers together.

"How about this," I say, and Matteo turns to look at me in the dim light. I notice the way his bangs fall over his eyes perfectly and the way his lip ring catches the light when he smiles and for the first time, I let myself. "How about, no matter what happens, no matter where this crazy road trip takes us, we're always going to be alone together?"

"Did you just quote Fall Out Boy?" He asks, the corners of his mouth twisting into a smile.

"Maybe. But are you in or not?"

He answers by squeezing my hand and whispering, "okay."