Caraphernelia

8 - day five

Wednesday

"I promise I won't kill us if you let me drive," Matteo says as he drags my sleepy, disheveled body down through the hotel again and to the car.

We'd fallen asleep on the roof, on the lounge chairs tangled together, gazing at the night sky. Matteo woke me up before my phone alarm even went off, shaking me and begging if he could drive and that if he accidentally kills us he'll have Elliot or Camille dress as the Grimm Reaper and come to our funerals.

I, still mostly asleep with such a pounding headache that I thought I was hungover, agreed and now he's shoving me into the passenger seat, grinning.

➳ ➳ ➳

Just a tip: When you need to bathe, don't do it with paper towels and hand soap in a Taco Bell bathroom.

I'm never doing that again.

➳ ➳ ➳

"A tattoo?" I say incredulously as the car swerves off the road a bit for the hundredth time. A horn honks from behind us, Matteo ignores it.

"You said you wanted to do something you'd remember, right?" Matteo counters.

"I thought we did that last night! You know, sneaking onto the hotel's roof?" I protest. "Besides, I didn't mean something permanent on my body."

"But you'd remember it." He turns to me for a second, only to turn back and slam on the brakes at the glowing stop light. Another horn honks, this time Matteo whips around and sticks his tongue out at the truck behind ours through the driver's window.

Just the idea of a needle scratching into my skin makes my stomach turn flips. "Nope. Not happening."

Matteo rolls his eyes as he settles back down. The light flashes green again and the van lurches forward.

"C'mon, Spence. I'll even be there beside you, holding your hand the entire time so you don't cry."

I glare at him. His lips turn up into a crooked smile and I end up giving in, shaking my head. "Fine, I'll think about it," I groan. "But only if you give me the wheel. You're going to murder us."

➳ ➳ ➳

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," I mutter as Matteo pushes me inside the tattoo parlor. My stomach turns somersaults just entering the place, the sound of the machines buzzing and whirring filling my ears.

He scoffs. "You'll be fine." But then I card my fingers through my dark brown hair nervously, he notices and quickly adds a reassuring "really."

"Can I help you?" Someone asks, followed by the loud crack of gum.

I turn to the woman, who has frizzy dyed red hair and a lacy black crop-top that exposes her tattooed torso, chomping on a piece of gum. Her voice is a bit gravelly, as if she shouldn't be bothered to be here.

I try to speak, but the air closes off in my throat and I find myself unable to choke out the words. I'm not even sure why I'm so anxious - I usually wouldn't be this bad, even if it is an inked needle engraving something into my flesh. Maybe I'm just on edge because of what the tattoo I want is of.

Matteo steps forward a bit and brushes his fingers across my arm comfortingly and the nerves instantly calm some. "Uh, Spencer here is looking to get a tattoo." He speaks up for me.

I shift uneasily and suddenly my shoelaces become the more interesting than the conversation around me.

A sympathetic smile grows on the woman's face, her lips painted dark red. "This your first tattoo, hun?" Her voice takes on a softer tone.

I nod, still not looking up.

"Ah, c'mon. It's not too bad. I promise." She says and motions with her hand for us to follow us and she leads us to a station with a large reclining chair, like you'd see at the dentist, and a swivel chair.

I take a seat at the large cushioned chair, and the woman plops down in the swivel chair. Matteo pulls up a chair from against the wall.

"So, my name is Maggie and I will be tattooing you today. Do you know what you want, sweetie?"

"Y-yeah," I stammer, red flushing my face. "I-I want the word caraphernelia right here, on my forearm, and then a little crown symbol beside it."

Maggie smiles again, nodding and pursing her lips as she draws out the design. After a while, it's ready and she pulls on her tattoo gloves, wipes down my arm, and picks up her machine.

That's when it hits me, the realness of it all, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Then I feel someone's hand take mine, skin warm, entwining our fingers together. I open my eyes to see Matteo smiling reassuringly at me, squeezing my hand. I release the breath I hadn't realized I was holding in and with that the nerves too.

I hate how Matteo all of a sudden has so much control over me. A simple smile from him makes me want to make him smile more; the feel of his hand tangled in mine makes me never want to let go; the warmth of his body cuddled up against me at night makes me realize how much better he is than Cara.

And how much more I want him than her.

➳ ➳ ➳

"So, does this mean something, hun?" Maggies asks when she's done with the tattoo and wiping down the tattoo for the second time.

I glance at Matteo, who is still holding my hand, then nod.

"Y-yeah, it does. The word caraphernelia means when someone leaves you but leaves all their stuff behind with you, and it's the heartache feeling that you get from it. But the crown, to me, represents being alone together with the one who really cares about you. Because we both deserve so much more."

Maggie steals a glimpse at Matteo and me, a knowing look washing over her features when her gaze lands on our intertwined hands.

➳ ➳ ➳

"Yeah, the name Cara, right here on my bicep." I overhear just when we're about to leave the parlor.

My body automatically snaps around at the sound of her name. My eyes land on a buff, tan guy with black hair and inked knuckles. He looks older than us, about mid-twenties, with a stoic expression and hard brown eyes. The guy's sitting in a chair, ready to get tattooed.

His artist asks, "Who's that? Your girlfriend?"

"Yeah," the guy confirms, his voice rough. "She just drove all the way from Virginia."

My heart lurches in my chest and starts pounding against my ribcage. I stumble a bit, but Matteo grabs my shoulders and wraps an arm around my waist to steady me. But I hardly notice because the only thing running through my mind is her name over and over again in his voice.

Cara. She just drove all the way from Virginia.