Epic Detours (ON HOLD)

And that's when I thought....Who am I? - Ashlinn

Ashlinn Kennedy, that's me. Ash to my friends and family. I'm 17 years old and I live in a small terrace house in Dublin, Ireland. I have mad and messy long dark blonde hair and green-blue eyes. I live with my Irish mam, Gillian White and my older half-sister Perrie White, a supermodel who is 21. I also have a half-brother called Kevin White, he is 25 and he lives in Melbourne, Australia. Last year Perrie moved to an apartment in New York, America with her movie director boyfriend, Jonas Canns. We've always had quite a difficult life, money wise. Mam's always found it a struggle to pay off bills and buy us decent clothes, after my pap cleared off, bloody loaded Texan. Buck Kennedy. I honestly don't know what mam ever saw in him! Speaking of pap, I should tell you some of the story of my life so far, and how it made me who I am right now. I guess that means I'm going to have to share some memories I've long closed the lid on.

In the summer I was 9 years old my home girl, Ocean Harris asked me a question that would ruin my life. She said 'why do you have a different last name to your mam and Kevin and Perrie?' That got me thinking and soon I felt as though I didn't belong in the family; I felt like the spare part. That feeling was set in stone when, as I came home from Ocean's, the Whites were sitting together on the sofa laughing and looking at baby pictures. I looked through the window and Perrie, then 13, beckoned for me to come and join them. But the tears had already started rolling down my cheeks and I turned and ran. I heard my sister calling me from the house but I kept running. I went into the library and booked half an hour on a computer and then I googled Buck Kennedy. I found his website easily as he was a successful lawyer, the best in Texas. This made me wonder, if he was such a good person, why had he left me? I wrote down the mobile number and went up to the front desk to ask if I could borrow the phone.

So I rang up this man that was supposedly my pap and I said 'pappy?' Buck replied,

'Who is this?'

'My name is Ashlinn Kennedy and I'm 9 years old.'

'Ash honey!!'

'Pappy I feel left out at home and I was wondering if I could come and live with you?'

'Of course darling!' Buck sounded so happy at the time, I didn't question his motives. But it turned out the only reason he said yes was because his girlfriend had just left him.

A few days later Buck turned up at our front door. Mam looked shocked and terrified and hurt all at the same time. But, being an ignorant kid I just hugged Buck and walked away with him without even an explanation for my mam. The next 2 months was a whirl of back rooms of seedy night clubs, bars, late nights, strange people and feeling very, very alone. Buck was a lawyer by day, when I was left alone in his apartment and by night he was some sort of sick player who got wasted every single time. I was either left in the apartment or dragged along and dumped in horrible back rooms. I usually preferred to go along as I hated it when Buck bought a woman back to the apartment, and 'strange noises' came from his room. The apartment wasn't shabby but it wasn't chic either, all I can really remember is being cold, hungry and alone.

One night I stayed home whilst Buck went out, then around 3am he was back, without a woman for once. He came over to me and was clearly wasted, maybe even high. He started trying to take off my clothes and was touching me in a way I didn't like, even though he was my pap warning bells were going like crazy in my mind. I started screaming for help and kicking him and trying to struggle away, but I was too weak, I hadn't eaten properly in ages. Suddenly the door burst open and some cops ran in and pulled him off of me, cuffing him. The old lady from downstairs ran over to me and pulled me into a hug, I started screaming for my mam. The old lady, called Joan cleaned me up in her flat and gave me something to eat then paid for a ticket for a flight back to Dublin. I will be forever in debt to Joan, if she hadn't called the police I don't know what would have happened.

The next morning I boarded the flight to Dublin and by 6pm I was back with my mam. It was a tearful reunion and when I told her why I had gone and what happened she cried so hard I was scared for her health! Perrie and Kevin cried too as they hugged me. But the experiences in Texas was almost too much for me, I became a recluse, too scared to leave my room let alone the house. Mam took me to so many doctor appointments and they said the only thing that could cure me was my own belief that I was safe. I continued like this until I was 13 and I got a letter from Ocean. We had been sending letters back and forth for the 4 years and she visited me regularly. Well it wasn't a letter it was an answer to my problems.

'Don't let the bastard ruin your life.'

That hit home to me exactly what I'd been doing, and then I thought... Who am I?. I pulled on some decent jeans and a shirt and I walked out of the house. I turned and walked down the street and saw mam at the corner shop. When she saw me she screamed and hugged me and then I was back to normal. But the experience of mam and Buck and hurt me more than I could imagine, it had given me commitment issues. From then on I was never close to anyone. I broke my closeness with mam and Perrie and Kevin and I even distanced myself from Ocean. That's how I became who I am today. An emotionless, unstable, slutty bitch.

Although when I was 15 there was an 'up' in my life, I joined 'Road Runners' a group of teens who use gymnastic skills and road running to express themselves. Flipping off of railings and tumbling down roads and such. There was 5 of them and I made 6. I even got my own grey matching tracksuit with the logo emblazoned on the back and (my colour) yellow trainers. There's me, Gale, Seth, Nico, Carmelita and Allyson. And I have to tell you, we are pretty crazy! We do our stuff starting at midnight and ending at 3am on Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Oh another thing, we tend to drink... And smoke... Quite a lot...

Just before I turned 16, Kevin moved to Australia. It was an emotional time for the family, and we were all sad to see him go, but I guess it was time for him to start his life. When Perrie went mam was distraught, knowing that once I was gone she'd be all alone. I don't think she knows, but I've noticed her getting cosy with Paul from the church hall, so I know she'll be fine.

At the start of last school year, year 11, a new girl started at my school, Highgate Academy, the school that is run by me, queen bitch. And the new girl seemed set on rocking my boat, her name was Robyn Tanner. Now me and Bob are the best of friends, she's become more important to me than even Ocean! But in the beginning me and Bob were practically worst enemies. When Carmelita invited her to our Christmas sleepover (which is actually a mental party involving every single teenager from our corner of Dublin) I was horrified. Then someone made her games chief. Then I realised I am not the meanest person, bar Hitler, to walk the earth. It is definitely Robyn. After that we made a pact, bitch+rebel= TOTAL RULE! Bob easily fitted into the gang of me, Ocean and Carmelita, everybody loved her!

Now we are at the end of year 12 and we have an amazing summer ahead of us, all thanks to one person, Joan. That darling old woman had no family of her own so she left all of her money to me, and when she passed away I inherited £20,000. Its not much, but its all she had and in honour to her me and Bob have decided what to do with it. We are going on a tour of the world. Yes people, this is the story of Ashlinn Kennedy and Robyn Tanner's fabulously, amazingly, totally rebelliously, epically EPIC DETOURS.

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And here's Ashlinn Kennedy :)

Now that we've got the introduction to Bob and Ash's lives over, we can start on the epic detours!!!!!! Chapter 1 up soon :D

Foxface xx