Vent

For You..

You're slowly fading.

I hate it.

I miss you still. I want to let go, but not forever. It's not fair.

I don't know if you're ok. I don't know how you're doing and it's killing me.

I just want you to be alright. You promised me you'd take care of yourself. I hope you are. I still worry about you. I still think about you. But you're gone. And you're never coming back.

I'm still trying for you. I know you'd hate to see me in the state I'm in. But I promise I'll keep trying to do better for you.

You'll never see this. And that's alright. But please keep fighting. Please don't give in to everything. You're strong. You're amazing. You're perfect. You're smart. You've got this. Please whatever happens don't give up.

I understand that you hurt me. But even if you don't want to admit it, I know that I hurt you too. And I'm extremely sorry. I know my apologies always meant nothing to you. That's fine, I don't blame you. But I really mean it. I hate everything I did. I hate all the pain I caused you.

You didn't deserve it.

If I had the chance to have you back in my life, I'd take that chance in a heartbeat. You were a big part of my life. But now that you're gone, it's not the same. I don't feel as happy as I used to. Nothing seems worth it. You gave me motivation. You helped. You did so much for me, while I did so little for you.

I wish I could take it back. I wish I could start over. I just want you back in my life...

I've cried so much. My chest hurts more every day. It's so hard going on without you. I hate it.

You were the light in my life. You made me feel good about myself. You helped me to become a better person. You were just amazing. You always have been. I wish I had been able to take away your pain like you did for me..