The Baby Cries in Black and White (journal + poetry)

Cursed

I am truly cursed
With a heart so big it dances across my skin
And to anyone who I dare let in
When I am not received,
When my intentions aren't matched,
It breaks open and swallows me whole

I can't blame you
For not loving me back
The way that it takes over every moment
It is unfair
For me to ask for you to bleed in return
You asked for time
And I broke the clock
Out of frustration with myself

With wounds so deep they never heal
My delusions took over
So lost in the clouds that I've been blind
And though you may think of me
I can't help but wonder if it's out of pity
A sparing thought to get over your past
A body to hold, and lips to touch

But it is not what you need
It is not what you want
Was it ever?
Will it ever be?
My mind is too far to turn back
But we stand at this crossroads
Confused by the signs

I feel too much for my own good
Butterflies have made a home in my stomach
There's nothing I can do to make you love me
It has taken so long to see that
And I've fallen into this cycle yet again
I am truly cursed