The Baby Cries in Black and White (journal + poetry)

otherwise generic boy with brown eyes

I think I got it in my head
That if I let my feelings exist unspoken
Then there would be no chance of hurting
Even though I longed to make you smile
But what I didn't foresee
Was the pain that it brought me
When now you're smiling for someone else
I think I got it in my head
That you came at a time when I needed
And maybe fate exists because of that
But my bitterness shatters that fantasy
For I see that fate has always made me the fool
I think I got it in my head
That I think the world of you
Even though your world belongs to someone
Someone who is not me
Not even a little bit
No, not even at all
So I'll keep falling
Tripping into trapped doors
Crashing through faulty steps
And though my heart bleeds
I have it in my head
That as long as I don't let it kill me
I'll be fine
And here I am
Not dead
Though my happy thoughts rest
In the field of the ideas of you and I