What I like about you

18

School feels different today.

It feels as if all eyes are on me.
That every step or move I make, people are watching.

It's like in those scary movies where everyone just keeps creepily staring at you, never blinking.

I don't know. Maybe I'm being paranoid?
I hope that's the case.

It's now 5th period. The last period until lunch.
Then, I can finally get a break from all these weird paranoid feelings.

I stare at the front of the room, writing my notes from the board as the teacher reads silently at her desk. Kyla had a basketball game, so she got to leave during her 4th period.

Lucky her.

I still feel the probing eyes on me.
I look around.

No one. No one is even paying any attention to me.
Then I see a familiar pair of blue eyes.

I automatically roll my eyes upon seeing him, a scowl etched on my face.
I don't hate him.

A smirk plays at his lips as he just stares at me, not even being subtle about it. His eyes hold a icy spark in them, like someone lit a fire. If fire was blue.

I turn back to my notes and continue writing. The clock ticking in the background as some tapping feet and snores almost drown it out.

5 minuets.

Ryder still looks at me. His gaze burning holes in my skin. It doesn't feel good when he stares at me. Not like when Blake does.
When Blake stares at me, he stares with wonder and amusement. But Ryder? He's staring with arrogance, an electrifying look of compulsion. Almost like he knows something that I don't. Blake's stare gives me comfort while Ryder's gives me fear.

I look back at the clock.

2 minuets.

Can time go any slower?

I need to get out of here, away from him. He makes my skin crawl, my blood boil. Something about him just infuriates me.

His dumb hair, stupid blue eyes, that damned perfect smile-

The bell cuts me off from furthering that list.

Thank goodness!

I pack up my things and race out of the door. I try to get away as fast as possible, but fail.
A strong hand grabs my arm, pulling me to them softly.
That smell of the expensive cologne causes my nostrils to flare.

I spin around, yanking my hand from his hold.

"Are you trying to run away from me?" He laughs, his eyes squinting from his cheeks.

"Well, nah. Now, what makes you think that?" I sarcastically spit at him.

Wow. He must make me really mad.

He still just smirks, amused from my attitude. I spin back around and begin to walk away.

"Why would you do that? Why would anyone want to do that?" He falls into step beside me, hands in his pockets.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're an egotistical jerk who only cares about himself." I retort, my arms tightly crossed over my chest as I try to walk faster.

No matter how fast I walk, he always keeps up with me. My short, fast strides equal out to one of his long slow strides.

"Ooo. Now, that hurt." He feigns being hurt, his hand on his chest and a pout on his lips.

"It was supposed to." I deadpan.

"You're not as mean as you try to be. It's cute." He smirks.

"I'm not trying to be mean."

"Sure, like I'm not trying to flirt with you."

I freeze.

What?

Was he being sarcastic? My brain is so jumbled that I can't even tell.

"What?" My voice sounds smaller than before.

He smirks down at me as we both stand in the hallway, a few people passing us.

"I am flirting with you, you know."

"I-I didn't realize." I look away, feeling the embarrassment rise to my cheeks.

"Don't sweat it. You'll come around." And with that, he turns with one last smirk and walks away.

I'll come around?

I stare after him, confused by his words. Then my eyes land on someone I've wanted to see all day.

Blake.

He's not alone. A petite girl stands across from him, her back facing me.
His face has a small forced smile on it, his eyebrows scrunched together.

He's annoyed with her. I can't tell. He only smiles like that when he wants someone to think that he likes them.

I've come to know that about him.

His eyes meet mine, his smile brightening into a real one. The girl turns her head towards me, her familiar eyes landing on me. A scowl on her face as she glares at me.

Molly.

Blake excused himself and walks towards me. That's when I notice that there's no one in the halls. Everyone must have already left for lunch.

I look back up to find Blake right in front of me, smiling down.
Molly was gone.
A smile of my own appeared.

"Hey." His dimple shows.

"Hi." I whisper.

"Sorry, Molly caught me up." He rolls his eyes.

"It's alright. Ryder did the same." I roll my eyes too.

We both laugh at our annoyance towards them. Our eyes never breaking away.

"Ready then?" He nods to the front doors.

"Always." I smile, my stomach growling for food.

"Someone's hungry." His laugh echoes through the foyer until he opens the door, holding it for me to go through.

With a shy thank you and smile, we're both outside.
The frosty air nipping at my nose. My breath coming out like thick clouds of smoke.

A warmth spreads through my hand, sending shivers up my spine.

Blake intertwined our fingers, rubbing my hand with his free one to make it warmer.

I feel a deep blush rise to my cheeks, the cold wind stinging every time it blew. The heat radiating off from his body enveloping me in an amazing warmth.

I kind of wish that he wouldn't do that. That he wouldn't be so intimate, so close.

Believe me, I want him close to me. I want him and I want this. But knowing that I can't have it, I don't want him to be like this. Holding my hand and making me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.

It's confusing!

He told me he isn't ready for a relationship. He needs time to figure things out and make things better. And I understand that.
But, what I don't understand is, why he says that he isn't ready but he sends me signs like he is.

I can't keep doing this. I can't keep letting him make me feel like he's mine. I just can't. It's hard enough knowing that I can't have this, it's even harder being reminded of it everyday.

We can't do this. Him and I. Us.
Because, there is no us.

Those words form a pit in the bottom of my stomach, constantly gnawing at me. Never letting me forget.

Somehow, I know he doesn't suffer from any of this like I do.
A He doesn't have to.
I'm waiting for him.

When it should be the other way around...