Perustis Flamma

It Seems Self-Evident Yet So Unclear

Mistakes. We all make them, no? Yeah, we do. But I declare no one has a made a mistake on the same caliber as I. What. Was. I. Thinking. I know what I thought and that wasn't of the apple. Originally, at least. I hated it, straight to the core. But like a fickle, impressionable, transparent, brainless fool I am, that soon changed, and with it a new rush of emotion. Before my mind changed as quickly as a bird changes tunes, I was looking for a change. Change. Change. Change. It happens all too often for me to keep up. Hell, half the time I don't know what is going on. Change. I had found a change. It was good. I was just too foggy to realize I was bad. I. Am. Bad. I am the epitome of emotional torment. Though I'm certain I'm right. I have toyed, I have played. It honestly makes me sick. I can't even imagine it, the washing machine, the rollercoaster, I have put the people I care so much about on. It's revolting. Yet, I'm not wrong. I can't be wrong. A 52 does not equivocate to a 30. The clocks were whizzing. Tiredness alters the elapse of time in the mind. I AM NOT WRONG. I'm just not good. I won't make myself out to be the hero. But at least I tried to get my shit together, I just did it horribly. This storm has turned thunderous. A stray bolt struck me. It hurts, it burns. It's all my fault. I didn't take cover when I saw it come. And I sauntered straight through the pellets. They were slapping me for my incompetence, but I couldn't feel them until it was too late. I want forgiveness, it just seems too late for me. Am I the Boy Who's Future Slipped Away? No, not yet.