LETTERS TO REALITY ✓

restful soul restless soul

Seven - Restful soul restless soul

Serenity leaves her house, feeling allayed and awake.

Usually, she leaves feeling droopy and melancholic. The routine of her everyday makes it mundane. But today is a refreshing change because she knows exactly what today involves, she wants to make today great. In order for it to be great, she has to change her mindset.

Serenity is on her way to meet someone significant.

So, she walks down to the nearest florist, embracing the quietness of the city streets and she stands in the surprising queue. After retrieving a bouquet of vibrant, nice smelling flowers that remind her of illumination, light and heaven, she arrives at her destination.

Serenity gulps harshly before pushing the glossy painted, abundant gates open. The coldness of the gates makes her hands ache, knowing what is coming. She walks along the wide path. It's a path many have taken to meet beloved ones, to wail and remember.

Remembering can be tough.

Reminiscing Serenity stops in her tracks when she approaches a familiar gravestone with a name that still hurts her impaired heart. Even after so long it makes her frail, frustrated and a deep ball of sadness sits in the pit of her stomach. Is this all he is now? A gravestone?

She clutches the barbed stems of the bouquet, staring for too long at the name engraved in stone until a lady tries to walk past, snapping at her, excuse me leaving her pale lips.

Serenity mumbles sorry, not moving her sleep deprived eyes away before taking a step closer to her elegant loved one, a step too close makes her shiver. It's been too long... Too long and she's already tearful.

KIM NAMJOON
Son, grandson and friend.
Too graceful of a soul.

Serenity sits down, her covered knees scraping the filthy mud around his place as she prepares herself to talk to Namjoon. She'd prepare even when he was alive, talking to him had to be perfect and committing.

Serenity places the bouquet beside the stone. She gazes at the ripped letters, the dying plants and soggy grass.

Serenity's heart stops when she sees her letter.

She sits still, her body huddled together as her eyes widen in shock, trying to process what is in front of her. It's her writing, her envelope, her letter. She continues to stare at the dusty envelope, unsealed with her affectionate letter addressed to Namjoon, filled with long-forgotten emotions. How did it get here? The address on the letter is his parents' house. Serenity is beyond confused.

Serenity's breathing pattern changes as she reaches out to grab her letter, but her fingers stroke the brisk gravestone instead. It makes her flinch, recoiling back and she clasps her hands in her lap, slightly anxious.

Serenity continues to stare at her small calloused hands, unsure of where to begin. She needs him to talk to, but he's gone. She can't even remember what he sounds like and that hurts the most. Imagining what he would reply, advise and reassure with is getting harder to imagine.

"I came here to talk to you." She whispers to Namjoon, or herself. She doesn't know anymore.

She's here to pour her heart out to the person she misses every single day.

"I haven't been here lately." Serenity apologises and makes herself sit more comfortably. She sits cross legged, hands tied in her lap as she takes a deep breath. "I've been busy. I hate being old."