LETTERS TO REALITY ✓

FROM JUNGKOOK

Eleven - From Jeon Jungkook

I can't write this letter.

I've tried several times, but hours turn into restless days.

You really were the soul made for me yet when I met you, you were not mine. You were my best friends and it was dreadful.

I met you through Taehyung of course. That boy knew everyone and anyone. He could make friends in a single night... Sober. All he had to do was stand on a table with a glass bottle in his hand, sing loudly or compliment a stranger noisily with a boxy smile.

And I'm the complete opposite.

That day you saw Taehyung for the first time, I was in my bunny costume, inattentive by your presence. But you were always looking at him, never me. I was never someone you noticed because I was just Kooky... Just me.

At least that's what I thought.

It hurt but I understood. You were his from the beginning.

I never felt anything but an attraction for you at the start. You were a pretty girl that's all, you were my best friends' girlfriend.

We started to have a friendship that was too adored to tear.

I wish I never started developing feelings for you. I wish I never started to see you the way I used to see stars in the night sky. You became my star. And you were always there, no matter how isolated. Even to this day, I can't drive or walk home without looking up and thinking about you.

I never minded your presence either. You were my kind of person. I would always look forward to us spending time together, even if that meant me being the third wheel. I liked seeing you have fun.

But the times we spent together in my apartment, in yours, in the library, in the bus- anywhere, it was just the two of us being comfortable with each other's gratifying and tranquil presence.

Just two humans having fun, authentic and innocent love.

One of my favourite things was us sharing earphones. It was part of our routine. On the bus back home, watching a video on my laptop together, a movie together, you showing me a Korean drama with a man that apparently resembled me, us sharing each other's music taste.

You'd have one in your ear, the other in mine as we leaned back. We would stare out of the bus window, letting the heaven like music immerse us, blocking out alarming reality as the sweet harmonies, voices and beats took over the astounding feeling in our chests.

Every time we did that, I wanted to hold your hand because I felt so safe in the world. With you.

I loved spending time with you. Us on my couch, distant but always scooting closer to show the other something hilarious. You making us drinks late at night and you'd always put an extra spoon of sugar because it's better sweet! Sometimes, you even made popcorn. Me walking you home, never letting you walk alone in the dark. I'm your bodyguard- I used to tell you. We were joking but I was serious.

I loved it when we went stargazing that one random night. It was when we were together.

It was your idea and I remember looking at you with a look that said- what the fuck. But you smiled widely and messed the front of my dark bangs with your fingers before telling me to hurry up.

So, I filled a few bottles of water, a bag of snacks, blankets, a beanie, my favourite hoodie for you and I joined you as we got into my car, you wanting to drive. So, I let you because that way, I could look at you and you'd always catch me staring right back at you.