mr. hemmings // l.h.

32 • madeline

The song finished, and I reluctantly pulled away from Logan.

"Was that so bad?" He teased.

"Of course not." I grinned. "I'm gonna grab a drink."

I turned around before he could protest, and scanned the gym for Luke.
Where could he have gone?

When I was sure he wasn't in the gym, I made my way out and checked the hallway. It was crowded, but there was no sign of him.
Celia came up behind me.

"Madeline?" She asked, "What's wrong?"

I frowned, "Luke left. I think he's upset that I danced with Logan."

She sighed softly, "Mads-"

"I have to go find him. I have to fix it." I explained. "I'm sorry, I know I'm being a real party pooper right now."

She stopped me, "Don't apologize, Mads. Of course you need to go find him. That's your man, that's important."

I hugged her, and she wished me luck. I knew she'd understand. I quickly made my way out of the main entrance and dialed Luke's number on my phone.

No answer.

"Fine," I huffed to myself, "then I'll come to you."

I walked all the way from the school to Luke's apartment building. My feet were blistering from my heels, but I could not care less. I made my way through the lobby that I had grown so accustomed to. I didn't even bother checking in. I marched to the elevator and made my way to his floor. When I finally found the door to his apartment, I pushed it open, inviting myself in.

"Luke?" I called, with no response.

I looked around the empty living area, and slowly walked around.

I found him in the kitchen, throwing back shots of grey goose. The bottle was half empty. He stumbled around to face me, and I could tell he was drunk.

"Luke?" I asked again softly.

He looked me up and down.
"I was right, you know?" He said. "Red is your color, sweet girl."

"Luke-"

"How did you get here?" He interrupted me.

"I walked."

"All the way here?" He asked, growing concerned. "Why would you do that?"

I sighed, "Because, I was worried about you! Why would you just dip out like that?"

He sighed.
"You were having fun. I didn't want to ruin it."

"What in the world are you talking about?"

He sighed, "I saw it, in your face. Dancing with him, with your friends. You were having fun. You were being a teenager. That's what you should be doing. That's what will make you happy. But I keep getting in the way of that."

"Luke, that's not true." I argued. "You make me happy."

Tears began streaming down his face.
"I'm taking your life away." He cried. "I can't keep taking your life away. You should be at school dances, free to be able to slow dance with guys your age. You should be experimenting. You should be dating. You should be doing all of the things that I got to do when I was your age. But I'm taking that from you."

"What are you trying to say?"

He gulped, and wiped his tears.
"We need to take a step back. Until you turn eighteen."

"You want a break from me?" I asked. I was growing angry, now. "And you expect to just put me on hold?"

"Madeline." He cried, softly.

"That is bullshit, Luke!" I protested. "That's not fair!"

"I know." He nodded, slowly.

"You said you wouldn't break my heart." I said, as tears welled in my eyes. "And you already need a break from me? What have I done wrong?"

"Nothing!" He said, "Nothing at all-"

"And yet, you don't want me anymore." I cried. "Oh, but you made sure to get your dick wet first."
I said the last part harshly.

He winced.
"I should have never let you do that."

"Were you sick of me then? When you were benefiting from me?"

"Madeline, stop," he shook his head, "it's not like that!"

"Is it Nora?"

"No!"

I put my face in my hands, sobbing. I felt so weak. He looked so weak.

We stood there, just silently crying, across from each other. I spoke up after a few minutes.

"I can not keep begging you to want me." I whispered. "I will not. It is exhausting, Luke. If you let me leave, then that's it. I'm done."

He bit his lip, tears fell harder. He looked at the ground trying to hide it.

"Is that what you want?" I asked.

He nodded, slowly. It looked as if it were painful for him to do so.

I shook my own head, "You are unbelievable. I can only pity the girl who gets taken advantage of next."

I knew I was being really harsh, but I couldn't stop myself.
I stormed away from him, not giving him any time to retaliate, and left his apartment much quicker than I arrived. I made sure to slam the door behind me.

I could hear the faint wail of Luke sobbing, all the way outside of his door. But I wouldn't turn around. Not for anything.

I would not be turning back for him.