Book of ..unique tales

Johnny Johnny at Oak Furniture Land

Our story begins with Adam (of which still has yet to recover from the bruise on his cheek inflicted from his friend punching him in face out of the blue, he still can't believe he'd done this) who has been charged with the honour of taking care of a rather creepy looking, large headed baby thing named Johnny Johnny (but we just call him JJ cuz cba) who was bobbing up and down excitedly in the car in hopes of going to his favourite store IKEA, however, when he fell out of the car he realised... this was not IKEA, it was Oak Furniture Land...

Adam, wide eyed in terror, stared at JJ who was flooding the streets with his tears which were like waterfalls due to his tear ducts being four times the size as a correctly formed human. JJ was mortified, this wasn't IKEA there were no meatballs, no house sets, no beds to jump on, no toys, no... no nothing! This was Oak Furniture Land. Adam had no clue what to do as his Papa seemed to be the only one with any power over him so he stuck a lolly in his mouth and shoved him in the door, the tears dissipated, replaced by a smile around the length of a size 10 shoe -due to his raucous head size.

JJ's Papa had given Adam explicit instructions to buy a cabinet big enough to fit a child but not too big so to make sure it doesn't feel like it has a slight sense of freedom, it was an odd scenario Papa had used to explain the size of a desired cabinet but Adam thought nothing of it and decided to move on without question especially considering the sudden flash of red he saw in Papa's eyes which he also brushed off very quickly.

"Get in there."
"No!"
"Papa told me to, you know what happens when he gets angry, you get hit with the wooden spoo-"
"Not another head inflation!!"
"Um wut"
"Oh well Papa's not here so he doesn't know!"
They both felt a chilling hiss run down their spines when he said those words, the Oak Furniture Land breeze whispered in their ears 'hes always watching~'.

Moving on from what seemed to be absolutely nothing of importance, Adam was attempting to pick up and stuff JJ into various different cabinets which proved quite the task due to his suspiciously unnaturally inflated head weighing him down. JJ thought this was abuse so he bit Adam on the arm and Adam screamed out in pain and shut JJ in the cabinet - "ahh fuck I can't believe you've done this" he whaled.

"Srsly Kyle, can u come pick me up? I've actually had enough of this weirdly proportioned baby and his unhealthy sugar addiction!"

"Course babes, On my way! Also what av you done with JJ?"

"Uh, don't worry"

Adam looked over at a man with an abnormally large nose standing very close to the cabinet, in fact, he was pressed up against it, sniffing. The man inhaled deeply and Adam swore he saw the cabinet lift off the ground slightly.

"Mm this one smells just right, " the man snorted. " I'll be taking this beauty home with me.." with those words the man took a huge breath in through his nose and the cabinet flung up into his left nostril, forever stored away, and he carried it happily out of the shop without even paying.

Adam caught him before he got onto his tricycle,
"Thank you, sir!" Adam shouted in his face and shook his hand vigorously.
"Call me Sir Lakin, it feels nice..." but Adam had already got into Kyle's mum's car and they drove home... then end.

- by me (cuz a lot will be my friend SugaTrash101 )