Things In My Brain

the toy maker and her doll

Once upon a time there was an old toy maker. She spent her time in her little shop building and fixing toys.
A toy she found herself fixing quite often was this fragile doll. Oh what a clumsy little doll she was. She would come up to the toy maker everyday with new cracks and tears for her to fix. "Oh what would I do without you?" The doll would say as the toy maker painted over her latest scrape. The toy maker would smile. For this feeling of being needed filled her with so much joy.

But one day, the doll didn't show up.

Worried, the toy maker went out looking for her. The little doll was safely in the toy box, playing with all of the other toys. She had no new chips or scuffs for the toy maker to fix.
"Little doll," the toy maker began, "why didn't you visit my shop today?"
"Well," said the little doll, "after watching you fix me so many times, I learned how to do it myself,"
The toy maker's stomach dropped.
"Aren't you glad? I don't need you to fix me anymore. I can fix myself." The doll's voice was triumphant. But the toy maker wasn't the least bit glad. She loved fixing the little doll. Patching up her rips and tears gave her purpose. She felt like something she did mattered.
"No, please, tell me you still need me," she muttered in disbelief.
"But I can fix myself now," the doll said once again. "Aren't you proud?"
The toy maker knew she should feel proud. She know she should be happy for the little doll, but all she could feel was pain. She was so hurt that she wasn't important to the doll anymore. She no longer felt like she had a purpose and that filled her with fear. Furious and heartbroken, the toy maker grabbed the doll and lifted her in the air. Without her doll, the toy maker was nothing.
"Need me!" Cried the toy maker as she threw the doll to the ground with all her might. Of course, the doll shattered and pieces of porcelain scattered at the toy maker's feet. Mournfully, she swept them up and took them to her shop where she would then tactfully glue them back together.

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Sometimes the need to feel needed can overpower everything you do. It's very scary when someone who once relied no longer does. Sometimes, they may even be better off without you entirely. I have to learn to let go of that crippling insecurity and accept that not everybody needs my help forever.