Dear Diary,
Just like any other party, it started out slow with girls on one side and boys on the other leaving the couples awkwardly dancing in the middle. But, I didn’t dance at all that night neither did Collin.
He had a few drinks, and when I mean a few I mean enough to make him really aggressive. What everyone else thought was funny I thought was completely terrifying. He would grab my legs and try to pull my dress up. It was humiliating being violated in front of my friends especially when they just stood and watched me, laughing. I felt so small, like I was a little rat being observed by multiple scientists frantically writing down everything I did and poking me to see how I would react then go back to writing.
After a few minutes everyone grew bored of our little show and started dancing again now all comfortable with each other. People were making out in corners and couples slow dancing to a really jumpy song.
Everything was dizzy, I felt light headed. I wish Collin didn’t get me to drink. I really should have only had one but one turned into 5 then 6 and on and on. I couldn’t breathe , I was losing my footing and then it was all dark.
I had passed out in the middle of the dance floor. I don’t remember how I got up the stairs, I assume Collin carried me. He’s strong enough to, drunk enough. I had woken up on a comfy bed alone in the dark. At least I thought I was alone, Collin was slowly doing the buttons back up on his shirt.
I felt numb I still do. I couldn’t move I just stared at him. He stopped for a moment and saw me staring and he said that if I don’t stop looking at him like that there will be a round two. I had no idea what he was talking about until I realised I was undressed. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t understand why this happened, how. I didn’t want to think that he would do that. He had just done up the last few buttons and the door opened.
A guy, drink in one hand girl in the other froze in the doorway looking at the scene. Collin told him to go away but he wasn’t listening to him he was looking at the terrified girl who was curled up on the bed. He knew what was going on, he saw the plead in my eyes, he saw the bruises on my body. The other girl who was hanging in his arms threw up after a moment of silence and the Brown haired boy put down his drink and picked her up, taking her to the bathroom. My heart shattered as Collin threw my dress towards me and told me to put it back on.
Love the violated Lily Fry.
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Dear Diary,
I deeply apologise for not writing after that night, I have been too tired to type.
I’m back at school now and I can’t concentrate. There are too many things happening for me to focus on schoolwork. I’ve been failing my classes mostly because I don’t go, I don’t sleep or eat, I don't sit with my friends or talk to anyone anymore. I just sit behind the school building and hope no one will find me.
I haven’t spoken to Bonnie for ages. At school she seems to be ignoring me. She doesn’t look at me or smile with excitement anymore. At first it hurt but then I thought it’s probably best if we aren’t talking so much anymore. It just means she won’t be asking me many more questions. But Diary, just as you are starting to think I couldn’t do anything more worse with my life something happened today that I am still in a daze about. I really thought at first it was just my head playing tricks on me.
Today at lunch after I had made it to my spot behind the school I noticed something in the bushes on the other side of the gate. Sorry not something, someone. They were crouching down moving slightly back and forth. I decided to yell at this pervert who was watching me and when I did he jumped up out of his hiding place to face me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was the boy from the party who had seen me with Collin. I could see him much clearer now, he was very tall with brown hair that covered his eyes making him seem shy, although he wasn’t shy. He stood up tall and smirked. We didn’t say anything for what seemed a long time when finally he said hi and when I didn’t say anything back he explained to me what he was doing. He didn’t need to explain I had figured it out pretty quickly when I noticed the cigarette hanging from his fingers. He weaved his hand through the bars offering it but I declined. He just shrugged and put in in his mouth. There was an awkward silence and he shuffled in his spot looking up towards the sky. My face was red remembering how he just left me in the care of a monster. He was about to open his mouth when the bell rang. It shook me from my state and I picked up my books and I walked towards my next class. He called after me and I turned around just in time to catch his name, Nathan.
Love the frazzled Lily Fry.
