He Has a Heart

Chapter One

Warning: the subject of self harm is involved in this chapter.

Voices echoed around in my head. I knew that they weren't real. They were just voices that I made up. At least that's what I like to believe.

They were taunting me, laughing at me. I knew that they weren't real, but they were constantly there. They were just memories. No one at school ever talks to me. I was known as the nobody around here.

The mute nobody to be exact.

In kindergarten kids would try to talk to me. The key word being, 'tried'. I never caved in. I would just stare at them and eventually they would go away.

Every year they would try to get my attention and every year they failed to get me to talk. This cycle continued until the first year of middle school when kids hit puberty and decided I was a mute loser.

Everyone stopped trying to get me to talk and they would bully me instead. They would pester me until they got tired of my silence and eventually moved on.

Now in high school, no one even looked my way. They knew who I was just by a simple glance in my direction.

I was many things. I was the mute loner, the mute loser, the mute weirdo etc. etc. Basically, all my nicknames had the word 'mute' in it. That's what I was anyway.

I was mute.

I stopped speaking what little words I knew at the age of four. I've been mute since then.

Sometimes I find myself wondering what it would be like if I wasn't mute. If I actually talked. I often wondered if I would have friends. If the people at my school would see me as a normal student.

Of course something would knock me back to reality and I would mentally laugh at myself, telling myself that it would never happen and to get my head out of the gutter.

The bell rang signaling the end of class and snapping me out of my thoughts. I scrambled to put my notebook and textbook in my book bag and rush out of class.

I had lunch next and although I sat alone, it was still my favorite time of the day. After going to my locker and trading my book bag for my lunch, I walked to the cafeteria.

Everyday for lunch I sat outside at this nice little picnic table. Nobody bothered to sit there and I didn't mind at all.

I sat down at the table and pulled out my lunch from the brown paper bag. I had made a ham and cheese sandwich with an apple. I pack a bottle of water to wash down my lunch and quench my thirst.

First I twisted the cap to the bottle and drank a generous amount of water. After placing the water down, I gobbled down my sandwich and munched on my apple.

I always finished about half an hour before lunch ended. That gave me enough time to admire the nature in front of me and maybe get some much needed sleep.

I didn't like sleeping in class even though many students did anyway. I may not talk, but I wanted an education as much as anyone else.

It annoyed me how some people could take their education for granted. For example, the people falling asleep in class, and those who skip. What's the point in going to school if you're just going to skip class?

There was a certain student who did both of those things on a daily basis. Jared Cruz.

He's the bad boy of the school. He didn't care about his education and so many other things were rumored about him. I mean, sure he's a senior, but that doesn't give him the right to get away with everything he does.

Loud laughter interrupted my thoughts and I snapped out of my daydream. I nuzzled my head into the crook of my arm and took a deep breath, letting it out as a sigh.

I let my eyes close and my mind wander.

Next thing I knew I was being shaken awake. I have no idea who would be nice enough to wake me, let alone touch me, but I groggily opened my eyes and blinked the sleep away.

"Are you okay?" a deep voice murmured.

My head snapped to the voice and was met with icy blue eyes. The eyes of Jared Cruz. My eyes widened in shock and my mind went wild.

Why was Jared Cruz waking me up?

Why was he touching me?

Wait, why was he even talking to me?

"Look Sleeping Beauty, don't look so shocked. I only waked you up because you were mumbling nonsense in your sleep and it was getting on my nerves."

With that he ran his hand through his chocolate brown hair, messing it up, and walked away. I couldn't help but stare at him.

He was wearing his usual white shirt and leather jacket along with his jeans and Jordan high tops. That was his normal everyday style, but I only just notice how his muscles bulged through his jacket and how amazing he smelled.

I know I shouldn't be thinking about these things, but I couldn't help it.

I couldn't help but wish I had a boyfriend or that someone would like me in that way.

I had to remind myself that I was a worthless excuse for a human being. I can't let my mind wander in that direction.

I know who I am in this world and where I belong and it most definitely is not in a relationship.

I need to remember what I've been told so many times before.

I'm a dirty, worthless, and pathetic person. No one will want me after they find out what happened to me. They'd be disgusted. I need to keep to myself, I can't attract too much attention to myself.

I need to be invisible.

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