Not All Skin And Bones

"All Alone"

Jack finally walked inside. As the door clicked behind him I let out a breathe I'd been holding in ever since the car ride to here. "Well now that that's done with- I gotta go get my boy."

"Your boy?" Nate looked up at me in shock. "You have a kid?" His breath hitched in disbelief and hesitance.

I laughed and pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear while reaching down to tie my shoelaces. "Um- yeah. I'm a single mother of one."

Nate gulped. Did I say something to scare him? I took a pause and met his eyes, there was definitely fear within them. I could see the way he shook slightly when biting his lower lip, it was a common reaction from those scared of commitment. I know it all too well. I've seen it before. "Is that a problem Nate-o?" I raised an eyebrow in sarcastic concern.

His eyes darted back to me as he realized he was staring. "No!" He blurted a little too defensively. "I mean- like- It's cool- that's cool."

"That's... Cool?" I teased and released a small giggle.

He shook his head rapidly and ran his fingers through his shaggy mop of hair. His eyelids were shut so tightly in frustration as he fumbled for the right words. "That's not what I- I'm just saying-"

I straightened up and tugged down my shirt that had risen up a bit from bending over to knot my converse. I gave Nate a joking nod and patted his shoulder in mock sympathy. "I got ya buddy. Noo problem."

I began to turn away as I felt that my firm pat was an adequate goodbye for the time being, but the way Nate urgently called out to me; the words he spoke, had a sudden desperation to them. A panicky necessity to know the answer to his question he would soon shout to me.

"So you're married?!" He stressed, standing up and facing me head on. There was about a ten foot distance between us as I stared into his eyes. Why was this so relevant? Was he trying to get to know me or hoping that a family didn't get in the way of that?

After initial shock I inhaled sweetly. "I'm about as lonely as it gets..." I continued; to be blunt and extremely clear I emphasized the meaning of what I said. I didn't want any confusion standing between me and Nate- there was more distance then I'd like there to be as it is. "Newly divorced." I confirmed and brushed away another loose strand before shuffling away.

I thought to myself as I pushed away warm tears.

It still stings...

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