Secrets

Secrets chapter 2

Taken for granted.

It's amazing how much we take things for granted...Like the oxygen we breathe. The food we eat. Even our story. For all we know someone could be taking their last breathe. Someone could be starving searching through trashcans trying to find food. Someone could be getting raped in an alleyway by some drunken idiot thinking he's getting lucky.

We can pretend that these things aren't happening...We could turn a blind eye to it...Try to ignore it maybe...

But the fact of the matter is it's happening. All the pain, startvation, mutilation is happening everywhere. All around us.

I want to say that, that fact alone should help to unite us, to make us stronger. To help us become better people, but it just doesn't. In fact all it does is seperate us. It means we all stand alone in this world. Although it does help to make you, break you and in the end it takes you, without batting so much as an eyelash at you.

I can't stand it. All the selfishness of it all. I can't be selfish anymore. I can't keep sitting here wallowing in my grief, expecting my mother to just walk through the front door, kicking off her heels. Complaining how uncomfortable they are, but she hates being short. I can't keep expecting that she'll be here for movie nights every Thursday, because some horrible, sick, twisted,evil, pathetic excuse of a person took her away. Away from me , her daughter. Her husband, my dad. away from her friends, co-workers, everything she's ever loved. She'll never see us again, touch us. She'll never feel us, because she's dead. 6 feet under...

Nothing, but lifeless corspe. A hollow shell of decaying flesh, nothing more nothing less. It's hard not to feel so bitter about this. Especially when Officer Ridges is visiting tomorrow to ask a few more questions. My dad hasn't returned yet and i don't blame him. It's been 5 days since i was told about her and everything reminds me of her. Photos of her on the walls smiling with me or my dad, her scarf hanging off the couch that she forgot to take that morning, her coffee mug thats in the sink because she was late for work she forgot to put in the dishwasher, her make-up scattered in the hallway mirror she wasn't the most organised in the morning. I smiled at the memory and then frowned, I haven't touched anything. I didn't want too it's just like she left it.

Officer Ridge has been here since 10 am, it is now 12pm. 2 hours of questioning or more like him asking questions and me spacing out. I'm snapped out of my continuous thoughts by Ridges shaking my shoulders. I blink rapidly shoving the thoughts to the back of my mind. Clearing his throat " I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it;s standard procieger..." I nodded wanting him to continue. He eyes me wearily. "Umm... do you know of anyone who would want to hurt your mother...any arguments, threats, stalkers...anything??" I can't reply my minds blank. Anyone who'd want to harm her?? Everyone loved her, i mean she's quite hard headed. Would someone kill her over that?? "I can understand if you feel uncomfortable answering these questions, but it's helping us in more ways than one." smiling sympathetically act me. "I thought you said she was caught in the crossfire??" He almost looked hesitant to answer. I feel like he's hiding something from me. It's confirmed when his eye starts to twitch, he's nervous. Why is he pretending to be clueless... I instantly started to bawl my eyes out screaming while clutching my hair in tight fists, playing the heart-broken child consumed with grief. He's instantly by my side trying to comfort me rocking me back and forth, rubbing my back and saying assuring words trying to ease my grief. "I just want to know the truth...no secrets" I croak out. He stops rubbing my back and lifts my chin so i'm looking directly at him. "we believed it was a crossfire, but in autopsy we found alot of scars and bruises and we came to a few conclusions. The most convincing included gang ties, just for the fact that the gangs have been becoming more and more aggressive since the shooting." This doesn't make sense... "Why would they become more aggressive after the shooting??" i asked. Sighing he spoke. "We think that your mom was the leader of one of the gangs." and thats all i heard before everything went black