I have a soul

Two

Before

Ghost

I was walking down the once-famous highway i95, the snow had been falling for hours now and I knew soon I wouldn't be able to find my way, but I kept walking.
   Up ahead the first gunshots I've heard in ages echoed into the cold evening, tempting my curiosity enough to investigate.
It was two men and a single truck, wielding a symbol I knew plenty well.
A single O with a slash through it. These were the Silents....
A civilization of ruthless people based out of Boston, I should know. I'm... no was one only a few weeks ago.
They had just one purpose, kill the Outsiders... they were another group thousands of miles off in Kansas.
   I drew one of my knives from a sheath strapped at my leg at the other sight. There was a young boy about my age on the ground, scrambling for his rifle too far off.
It was strange, watching as he fought more with his life on stake than anyone I ever saw. All the survivors I've been with lost their fight long ago.
So I took it upon myself to help him...
   I moved closer using the shadows to my advantage,  the two men laughed at the boy collapsing into the blood steadily dripping from his leg. I couldn't help but react, yanking one back and separating the brain stem before the Z beneath could wake.
"George?" His friend asked, frozen in the light of his headlights. The tremors of fear visible from here. Men break so easily when they realize they aren't the alpha predator. Nothing really is above the other in that regard... you're either stupid and dead or alive and lucky. All I had to do was walk into the light for him to run. He had seen enough, seen me and that was something I couldn't allow. The Silents couldn't find me again.
So I raised a revolver from my hip, taking a shot before he got another inch.
  The boy jerked awake at the sound, "hey, it's alright," I whispered, peeling the damp cloth from his leg. Sliding my pack off and pushing a washcloth into the entry wound. "Damn it! Get off me!" He shouted, shoving me off.
"I'm trying to save your life, do you want my help or not?"
He glowered but adjusted the washcloth back onto the wound again.
"What's your name?" He asked as I tied a scrap of cloth just above my makeshift bandage to cut off the blood blow.
"Don't really have one, call me whatever you'd like," I muttered, wrapping duct tape around most of the leg entirely.
He groaned as I forced him onto his feet and to the running truck feet away.
"And you, what's your name?" I asked.
"Thomas, but you can call me Tom." He seemed somewhat horrified by the cars interior, weapons and gore on both of the floor mats and the technology you usually only see in the police cruisers beside me.
"Who were those people?"
"They were Silents, you know? Big old scary government from Boston."
I got a look that told me he thought I was nuts. "What? Are you living in a cave or something?" I exclaimed and his sweaty pain morphed into one of awareness, "I live with my dad... on the next exit north..." he whispered, half there and not. Damn this guy better not croak, "I'll take you there then, stay conscious though, don't fall asleep."
He cleared his throat, "so there's governments now? I thought they all fell when the US did."
"I wish it were that easy, two governments war with each other over what's left of the United States. A cartel holds all of the South American regions and Canada is held by zona a settlement known as Newmerica. Not very strong as their main officials are trying to recreate what we lost."
He groaned as I hit a pot hole by mistake, "sorry," I muttered and turned off the road at last.
"I guess dad and I really must've lost touch with the world. We haven't seen any other humans except for today... it's why I was allowed to scavenge the interstate so much. Turn here... just follow it to the end..." he was fading, I could hear it in his voice.
"Damn it, stay awake, I don't want to give you mercy after all that, so hold it together."
"What's mercy?" He asked and I felt my hands clench on the steering wheel.
"It's just a saying we have in the apocalypse now, when you kill a Z, or someone bit, even the sick and dying. When you kill them it's called mercy, so they don't have to wake up as the monster or to put the monsters to rest again."
  We pulled to a stop at an old cabin, a lake spreading far into the background.
"This is it," he explained, opened the door. The snow was near blinding now as I scrambled to the other side.
  Tom fell onto me, barely keeping his eyelids open, "just a few more feet, I know... I know it hurts."
"You've been shot in the leg have you?" He asked with a snort. Oh great, he's gone into shock now too.
  My free hand pounded on the door and an older man was there in seconds, staring at the scene in disbelief, "hey dad, I um... ran into some trouble," Tom slurred, falling against him.
Seconds past before the man did much of anything, when he did it left me outside alone and in the cold.
"Hey kid, get your butt in here, you'll freeze to death," I heard him say from behind me.
It had been a long time since anyone called me kid, and I didn't like it. There was nothing about me that screamed child now, no smiles or innocent laughter. I was a mess and standing there in the cold I think he saw how much I did... saw all the dark in me and still invited me in, hoping to tame it down to an ember. Damn fool.
"What happened?" The man asked.
"Two silents found him out on the road they were toying with him."
"Silents? Do you mean zombies?"
"No, Silents are people from Boston. They have their own government of sorts, but they kill anything that gets in their way. Your son included."
   His eyes darkened, "then I hope you killed them."
I nodded and he seemed pleased by that at least. "There's a first aid kit on top of the fridge can you grab it please?"He asked, and I obliged.
   It was odd the amount of sympathy he gave his son, not that it was too much but the opposite. Instead he forced him to bite a leather sheath. I didn't know what to do other than watch, "you have a name kid?"
"Not one I care to share, call me whatever you like sir."
"Alright, but respectfully don't ever call me sir again. My names John, and I prefer to be called by it."
"Um... yes, sorry," I whispered quickly, staring at the fine sticking John did on his son's leg.
"Were you a doctor before?" I asked.
"A medic in the army, and you young lady? How did you end up on the interstate tonight?"
I swallowed, glaring over at him, "I don't owe you anything, I saved your sons life, that gives me a free pass on questions."
"Fine," he said without a glance but as I drifted towards the door he only kicked it closed again.
"You'll freeze to death out there, the roads are treacherous when it snows around here."
My lips shook, don't make me stay here... don't...
"You'd best stay until the suns up and then we'll reassess. You have parents missing you?"
The words wounded me, my parents had never missed me and wouldn't from their graves either even if they were dead.
Didn't stop me from lying my head off though, "no, my parents are dead, I'm a drifter."
John didn't like the sound of that either, no one would've, but to his defense, he did not ask anymore.       
     Tom's groaning eased with a syringe going into his arm, "there's a room in the back, it's the old guest room... it may be a bit dusty but it's got a lock and door. I'm sure you'll be more comfortable there."
"Much appreciated. If your son dies..."
"He'll be fine, and respectfully... don't think mercy will come from you..."
I froze, body tensed. "You know what mercy is?"
"I've traded with a few travelers... I know some things, things I'm not telling for good reason."
  Tom was conked and I realized John had asked me about the Silents to fool his son. "You know who I am don't you?" I asked, reaching for another knife.
"Lose the worry, I'm not a fan of the idiots running the show, you're secrets safe if you don't tell my son either. I'm trying to keep him away from your people's brainwashing."
I swallowed, "they're not my people anymore..."
"Even better, best keep the ruse up too if you're parents are dead too..."
My fist shook, "don't... don't treat me like one of them too. You're the one lying to your son. I'm not, I'm not them."
My mouth shook and he saw the child beneath, the one dying inside her own skin for two weeks now. I had left the only family I've known for a year and some even longer, I was alone, cold and frightened.
It struck him that I was still a child I think, like his son, but someone forgot to show me any kindness at all.
"Sorry, I'm stressed out is all, go on... I'll try to hold my tongue. I know you can't be what they say if you saved Tom's life."
He didn't glance back at me again after that, the closest thing to a dismissive shrug I'd get. But at least I could get in a bed tonight, close my eyes and forget for five seconds what kind of monster lay beneath the skin and in my heart, coiling, festering... if it wanted to.... I'd not exist and I knew that for a fact. I'd be the girl they all wanted me to be, the one without a soul.