scared of the stars

Chapter 14 - Obito

Nightmare-less nights had become a privilege, one that Obito did not have. It had been years since he had fallen asleep peacefully, years since he hadn't worried he might not wake up. Zetsu would often joke that he could fill a bathtub with the amount of sweat he produced while sleeping. Madara called it a weakness and told him to get over it. He should focus on his hatred rather than his fears. He had thought it would get better the older he got, the longer he had distanced himself from everyone. He had been wrong. He would see Rin, sometimes killed by the branches he created, sometimes by normal everyday things he socialized with. There was a time he had dreamt that Minato was actually Madara, and he was the mastermind behind the Akatsuki who had used Obito as a pawn since the beginning.

He often confused himself.

Obito tightened his grip on the duvet over him and clutched it tighter to himself. He could feel the bed beneath him, feel his hair stick to his damp forehead and his shirt to his back. All his senses were heightened, but he couldn't open his eyes. He tightened one of his fists to draw blood, digging his nails into his skin, feeling the pain and hoping he'd wake up as soon as possible. A drop of blood ran down his palm, staining his duvet, but his eyes were still closed.

«What?» he whispered, feeling his throat ache and sandpaper scratch the insides of his lungs. His heart quickened. He wanted out, he didn't want to stay in this dream anymore. He wanted to wake up and go to the ramen shop with Kakashi and Naruto, to go on a mission. He didn't want to be a caged animal anymore.

His breath quickened, his heart hitting his ribcage like a drum and trying to get through. It hurt it hurt it hurt and he wished he could open his eyes so much it hurt.

«Obito!» A deep voice said, making him freeze. Was someone else in the dream with him?

Someone touched his shoulder, making him wince. The palm on his skin spread warmth out to the rest of his limbs, and the contact alone made his heart slow down and his breaths even. His eyes were still closed though.

«Obito, listen to me. Breath slowly, in with your nose and out with your mouth.» The voice was soothing, so he obliged. The person moved his thumb back and forth, and Obito decided used the movements as a pattern for his breathing. His thumb moved, he breathed in, the thumb moved, he breathed out.

After a few minutes, his heartbeat was normal and all that was left was the restlessness in his bones. He both felt like he had just run a course and slept for years at the same time.

«Are you better now?» The voice said again. Kakashi, Obito now recognized. He tried to blink but still saw nothing.

«Kakashi, there is something covering my eyes,» Obito mumbled, not having the energy to move whatever it was away.

Kakashi stilled for a second, but he continued moving his thumb almost immediately after.

«There is nothing covering your eyes, Obito,» Kakashi muttered, the sound not quite a whisper yet he wasn't fully talking.

Oh, that's right. Obito couldn't see anymore.

He had been awake the whole time, thinking he was asleep.

«When did I wake up.» He asked, raising his hands in front of his eyes.

Kakashi removed his hand from Obitos shoulder, and for some reason, he longed for the touch again. «I am not sure, but I noticed you were awake about fifteen minutes ago.»

Fifteen minutes? He had been laying there for fifteen minutes, thinking he had been in a horrible dream that consisted of only blackness. He had thought he couldn't get out no matter how much he willed himself to wake. He wondered how it must have looked to Kakashi and was so happy he would never see it for himself.