Pretty Boy (manxboy)

Chapter Three

Sam

Grey was the type of cat that wanted you to wake up for the sole purpose of feeding him. That was the only reason I didn't want to keep him around permanently—not that Danny would let me keep him anyways. Grey was like a child to him.

The cat attacked my feet under the covers, being the little asshole that he was.

I groaned and turned over onto my stomach, wanting to sleep more.

But then the memories of yesterday came flooding back to me.

The feel of Gabe's strong arms wrapped around me had been so intoxicating. I had never had a man touch me like that. Never wanted a man to touch me like that.

Did I want it to happen again?

That was the ultimate question.

Because if I said yes then everything that I thought I knew about myself changed.

I would no longer be the same person, not deep down at least. I wouldn't even have any idea who I was anymore.

The truth was, I liked girls. I liked kissing girls and holding girls and just...being around them.

But sex had never been something I was crazy into.

Every relationship I'd had ended up being ruined because of it.

It wasn't that I hated having sex, it wasn't terrible. It didn't gross me out. I just didn't have a strong sex drive. And most girls didn't like that—at least the ones I'd been with didn't.

They always thought I was either cheating on them with a different girl or I was addicted to porn and couldn't get it up in a real life scenario.

Which wasn't true. I had no problem performing and I had never cheated on any of them. But because girls saw me as a hot guy that they wanted, they thought I should be amazing in bed. I liked to think that I could please them—I just didn't like to have sex often.

And I hated being a disappointment.

Then when my girlfriend at the time eventually started noticing this behavior and got mad at me, I would pull away because I didn't want to talk about all the ways I didn't measure up to their ideal guy.

But with all these issues I'd had with sex—I knew it wasn't because I would rather be having sex with a man.

Because guys had never done anything for me before.

I knew how my brother acted when he was denying to himself that he was gay. He was distant from everyone and hated being around boys or men because he felt uncomfortable and didn't think he fit with them.

I, on the other hand, had always been one of the guys.

And I knew that you didn't have to be slightly effeminate like my brother was to be a gay guy. I knew they came in all shapes and forms. Danny's husband was one of the most macho guys I had ever met. Besides all of my brother's friends, I'd met other gay people in my lifetime and it was the same with them. Everyone was different. Not everyone fit that gay stereotype.

But I knew I wasn't like my brother, I wasn't denying my entire life that I liked guys because I was scared of what that might mean.

Maybe I was doing that now.

But I was straight, I liked girls.

Sam, there's other sexualities, you know.

Suddenly, one of Grey's claws punctured the blankets and went right into my foot.