Please, Miss (GirlxGirl) ✔️

21 | new years eve

A l e x

                "Shit." I noticed her almost immediately as I entered the dining hall on the morning of the 31st, as though my eyes were naturally drawn to her. She sat alone, poking at a pancake with the end of her fork, her chin resting on her balled fist. Even though I was a fair distance from her, I could almost feel the bitter mood oozing out of her. Despite the air of obvious negativity, she somehow still looked just as beautiful as ever. Stop it, I scolded myself, hating that I'd just allowed my mind to trek into dangerous territory.

With a deep breath, I headed deeper into the hall, each step building more nerves inside. Evie didn't look up when I approached, in fact she didn't even acknowledge my presence. I wondered if she'd even noticed me at all, but there was almost no way she couldn't have.

I breathed in her delicious scent, a mixture of perfume and soap and sweetness. My eyes remained fixed on her, and though my lips were parted, waiting to talk, I couldn't seem to find the right words to say.

Did she despise me? God, I hoped not.

I cleared my throat, hoping for some sort of reaction. I didn't get one. I cleared it once more. "Mind if I sit?"

Still, her eyes didn't move from her plate, but her lips opened slightly. "Why bother asking? You do as you please anyway."

I chewed on the corner of my bottom lip. How did she manage to rouse such untoward anxiety in the depths of my stomach? I glanced down at her wrist; she didn't have her bracelet on. She always wore her bracelet.

With a deep breath, I sat on the bench opposite her, taking her in with my eyes. My God, she was extraordinary. Her dark hair fell as easily as water over her shoulders, wavy and natural, so silky I wanted to run my fingers through it. Her skin was olive, slightly more tan that it had been when I saw her last; the weather must have been nice in Florida. Dark rings formed beneath her eyes like shadows; I supposed she was probably tired from all the travelling. I pursed my lips, forcing myself to remove my gaze from her mask of brilliance. I didn't want her thinking I was gawping.

"How was Florida?"

Evie continued to poke her pancakes. "I hate smalltalk."

I resisted the urge to smile. "Sorry."

"You're never sorry."

I felt an odd twinge of guilt and breathed a sigh, placing my forearms on the table and leaning in very slightly. "That's not true."

"To be sorry, you have to mean it, and you have to learn from your mistake. You seem to be incapable of doing either. Instead you just let me run in circles and go insane and then you apologise and I forgive you and the whole thing begins again. It's not 'sorry' if you don't mean it, it's just 'fuck you'."

Her words left me without any, and for quite a few moments I hadn't a clue how to respond. I lifted my hand and massaged my left temple, closing my eyes momentarily. "I don't know what to do to make this better."

She shook her head. "You're really not as intelligent as you make out."

I played with a loose thread at the cuff of my sweater, trying to compile a sentence in my head. "I'm sorry I didn't reply to your message. I wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do. I thought you might have just wanted complete space from me."