Please, Miss (GirlxGirl) ✔️

35 | the final exam

                "Come on," Megan said, shaking my shoulders lightly as we stood outside of the assembly hall, clutching our pencil cases and water bottles. It was the day of our last exam; Megan and I both had history while Clarice was sitting Spanish. "We're going to smash this, I can feel it in my bones."

"Can you now?" I muttered with a roll of my eyes.

I felt oddly anxious waiting outside, as I had done for the majority of these exams. I'd never normally cared about grades and results, but the thought of failing everything and disappointing my family again unsettled me.

With a deep breath, I calmed myself down, trying to mentally run through as many historical facts and figures as I could. The truth was, I'd spent most of my time revising History and English. I cared about doing well in the other subjects too, but the fact that Alex had taught me those made me want to work harder. As if on cue, my stomach churned at the thought of her, and I closed my eyes for a second or two, trying to rid my mind of her.

"Listen up," came a strong voice from the entry doors, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up to see the exam invigilator, a large woman with a scary face. "For most of you this is your final exam. I will call you into the hall with your table number and you will find your seat. There will be no talking. Tracey Abbots, A1. Emily Addle, A2, Rhiannon Birss, A3..."

After what felt like an eternity, my name was called and I headed into the hall, taking a seat at table D14. I stared down at the history paper in front of me, willing the answers to shoot out and hit me in the face. I so desperately wanted to pass this.

My mind flickered back to Alex as I thought about the lessons I used to have with her. I racked my brains, trying to remember some of the things she had taught. Instead, I found myself once again distracted by the thought of her. I'd stopped calling her voicemail now. The last message I'd sent was almost a month ago. I knew there was no chance she was ever picking up now, it was pointless me wasting my time. Had she wanted to answer, she would have. I'd tried to force myself to accept that it was done, but it was more difficult that I could have ever imagined.

"The time is 9:00, you have two hours. When you are ready, you may open your papers and begin."

With a sigh, I forced myself to open the booklet, looking at the first question with determined eyes. It was about the Elizabethan age, and I closed my eyes, thinking back to the tutoring sessions I used to have at the weekends, where we'd gone over that topic many a time. 

With a deep breath, I began writing my answer, and found that the answers just seemed to pop into my head, though I hadn't even remembered learning them. After an hour and forty minutes, I'd finished the paper entirely and checked back over each answer. Satisfied, I placed my black biro down quietly and leaned back in my chair.

The following twenty minutes were slow and tedious, spent staring into space and playing ridiculous mental games, like how many animals beginning with the letter B I could name in a minute. It turns out it was just six, and my knowledge of the animal kingdom was actually much more limited than I had presumed.

"Your time is up. Please stop writing and close your papers," the invigilator instructed at long last. I breathed a sigh of relief, stretching my arms out in front of me with a yawn.

This was it, I was done. My exams were finished, my time at this school was up.

A sudden pang of sadness filled my stomach, and I realised just how much I was going to miss St Martha's. It was the only place I had ever really felt at home. I'd met my best friends, completed a whole year of school without getting expelled, and I'd fallen in love. Of course, it'd had its downsides too, like the love, for example. That only ended in tears, but it was a learning curve at least, it was all part of the experience. Despite having some of the worst times of my life in this ancient building, I had also enjoyed some of my best. The thought of leaving those memories behind in these four walls disheartened me. I almost wanted to do it all again.